After the Fact

I had written back in another blog that I was going to try to write a blog each week about something that I hadn't thought of or expected before the baby got here.  However, I was delinquent last week as my little one was wanting some extra attention.  But now, I am getting around to the next topic! 


The hormonal and emotional experiences after the baby arrives are hard to describe and something that hadn't crossed my mind much.  Yes, I'd heard of postpartum depression, the "baby blues," etc. and I was prepared to deal with that if possible.  However, even without those things, there are other hormonal and emotional experiences that do not happen until the baby arrives.


1.) Bonded by Crying?
The first night after Gordon Lee arrived up through the first week, his crying actually had a physical impact on me.  I had NO idea this would happen and it was actually quite an incredible experience.  Every time he cried at night, I literally felt as though there was a cord connected from me to him and it pulled at me when he cried.  I actually could not just listen to him cry because my body physically would not let me do it! It is the strangest feeling, and even the description I'm giving isn't enough.  However, it was truly remarkable and unexpected to feel a "pull" when he cried.  This did go away.  But I suppose we are made this way for a reason!


2.) My Baby is the Only One
One night, when Gordon Lee was about 2 weeks old, he was not in the mood to sleep.  We didn't know what was wrong at the time, but he was just crying continuously and seemed impossible to soothe.  I was rocking him in an attempt to get him to sleep and I looked at him and said, "I bet you Jericho is sleeping right now."  I do not know why I felt that way, but I had this idea in my head that things were quiet and peaceful next door while chaos ruled my house.  When my neighbors asked me how he was sleeping, I actually shared that story with them only to discover that Jericho wasn't sleeping either! He was up every 2 hours every single night, apparently.  At this, I realized  that our house was usually calmer during the night because Gordon Lee slept 4 hour stretches at a time at night! 


Something made me think that everybody else out there with a baby was having it so easy.  You see pictures of quiet, adorable little babies and then think something is wrong with yours! Granted, nobody really wants to share a picture of their upset child.  But it's weird how these thoughts that yours is the only one seem to take control.  The more I have shared the challenges we've faced with him with others, the more I've found out he's not "the only one." As I write, he is beginning to pitch a fit because he just filled up his pants. ;) I'll have to come back to this blog later.


3.) Not Me
Another thing I discover based on sharing my experiences with others is that, for some reason, it is very common to feel like you can't take care of your baby.  There have been so many times where I've felt I'm just "not fit" to take care of Gordon Lee.  Even if this is far from the truth, it appears to be a very common feeling.  My mom shared with me that she was afraid to give my sister a bath when she was born.  I'm not sure if it's the feeling that you think you should be able to know everything that will help the baby because you are his/her mother.  Or maybe it's just one of those emotional things that is a part of having a baby.  But, it seems that many people experience these feelings like you just can't do it sometimes.  I think I expected  him to calm down with me because he knew I was his mother (even if that is ridiculous).  But all babies will have periods when they just cry and it seems like nothing you do can make them stop.  


So, if there are new moms out there who feel like I did,  you are not alone.  It's likely that the person posting pictures of an adorable, contented baby is also feeling caught in a tornado of tears from time to time themselves.

What a Blessing

For a long time, I've been wanting to write this blog.  And I've had so much to say about it that I've taken a long time to get it started because I'm worried I'm going to end up rambling.  But, after today, I felt that this blog can't wait any longer.  I was blessed with a truly amazing doctor, and I really cannot even do justice to how incredible she is in a blog.  Dr. G (as I shall refer to her) is caring, kind, gentle, and very thorough.  I have to share all of the great things she has done for my baby and me.


First of all, she was my obstetrician throughout the pregnancy.  When my water broke and I went into the hospital in the wee hours of July 8th, she was not on duty.  Instead, I initially had to be seen by a younger, much more inexperienced doctor who immediately tried pushing drugs on me.  My doctor had all 4 of her children without drugs and was trying to encourage me that I could do it as well.  So, when the doctor on duty told me that he talked to my doctor and she wanted to start piton right away, I knew something was  up.  I told him that I didn't want to make any decisions until Dr. G arrived herself.  He was making me feel like they were going to make a choice for me and I knew my doctor wasn't going to do that.  Well, sure enough, when she arrived, things got a lot better and nobody was trying to push me to do anything.  I did go on piton because my contractions were irregular and despite hours of walking, stayed that way.  Still, nobody pushed the decision on me.


Once my doctor arrived, a sense of calm came with her.  She actually wouldn't allow any other doctor to check how far I was progressing as she didn't trust their judgment.   Since I was in labor for 24 hours, there was one time when she was unable to come up and check my progression.  Instead, she sent a midwife she trusted.  As it turned out, she was taking great lengths to ensure that I wasn't pushed into a c-section.  Apparently, there was a doctor who was tired of me being there for as long as I was and kept suggesting a c-section.  Looking out for my best interest, she said that if I progressed at all, we'd keep going.  Even though I only dilated 1 centimeter over a period of 4 or more hours, she still called it progression.  I was SO thankful that she was there for me and didn't allow some doctor to "hurry up" the process for his own convenience.  Granted, if it had gone too long, we may have had to take other measures.  But she was there for me all the way intervening for me.  What a blessing!


While in the hospital, she came and visited me quite a few times.  She offered breastfeeding support, told me that I was doing a great job, and said that little Gordon Lee looked great.  In fact, she set up his pediatric appointments with her.  And I was again so grateful.  Every other doctor he has seen has been nothing like her.  


Last week, I took him in to the doctor because he was having some problems.  He was constantly wanting to eat literally all the time for days on end.  And when not eating, he was crying like he'd had nothing.  His weight gain and output showed he was getting plenty.  So, concerned, I booked an appointment.  But they couldn't make one with Dr. G because they said she was booked.  So, they gave me another doctor who didn't even examine him well and said that she thought he had colic and acid reflux and gave us medicine for both.   Still, last week, I noticed he developed a rash and so I made another appointment and this had to be with yet another doctor.  She said the rash was normal from hormones, and that she thought he had colic.


I REALLY wanted to see Dr. G.  The other doctors just didn't make me feel at ease.  Plus, the second doctor talked to me like I knew nothing.  When I told her he wanted to eat all of the time, she responded with, "Babies aren't hungry every time they cry; you need to try other things." Well NO KIDDING! I think I know my baby's cues at this point and I do not resort to food immediately.  


So, today, I had my own follow-up visit with Dr. G and she graciously examined little Gordon Lee for me as well.  And it was just such a breath of fresh air! She told me that his rash was not a hormonal thing and that she could tell it was a result of a virus that had passed.  That would explain his crankiness and why he was nursing so much.  She said that the type of rash was unmistakable.  She was also the first doctor to really examine him carefully and listen to what I had to say--instead of assuming I was ignorant of everything.  


He actually got hungry during the visit, so I had to feed him.  She got to witness him spitting up and did not feel he had reflux.  She told me not to give him the medicine for it and that babies sometimes just have a number of things happening at once.  From her gentle manner to her calming voice, she always makes me feel so good after a visit.  


I wish there were more doctors like her out there!

Tricks

One night while my mother was here, she was holding Gordon Lee and excitedly called me over to see his new "trick." He had started turning his head from side to side.  He wouldn't do it for me at the time, but I did see it later.  I thought it was so cute that she called it a "trick."

So far, at 6 weeks old, Gordon Lee has picked up the following "tricks."

1.) Head Swivels

As I said before, turning his head from side to side.  He seems to be a big fan of this one.  I do not have much footage of this as it is hard to video tape him while he does it.  I have to hold him upright in my lap for him to do it.  But here is a photo from when he was doing it.  I promise I'm not choking him...just supporting his head/neck.

2.) Lifting his head

For short periods of time, he can pick his head up and turn his head to look around! I couldn't believe it when he just suddenly did it one morning.  All of my photos are blurry because he moves so quickly when he does it.  But here's the proof!

(In this one, he was actually picking his head up to see his daddy who was standing behind me talking to him!)

3.) Staring Contest

He will make eye contact and just stare now.  He started this one about a week or two ago when he would fixate on certain things.  But he is doing it a lot more.  He seems to prefer to stare at our faces :)

4.) Smiling and Cooing

He will smile for very fleeting moments, and he will coo as well.  Since he isn't much of a performer, I don't have much footage of this.  In this one video, there is a small coo.  I tried to repeat it to him to get him to do it again, but he just wouldn't.

Unless there is anything else that I just can't think of right now, those are the major developmental milestones he has hit so far.

A Little Side-by-Side

Soon after my little one was born, I was told my mother was excitedly bustling about the house gathering up my baby pictures.  She gleefully compared each one to pictures she had seen of her grandson.  Then, while she was visiting, she kept saying she felt like she was holding her own baby all over again because she felt he resembled me so much.  While I will admit that his feet are almost a direct copy of mine, I see other people in him.  And I told my mother that I feel each side of the family will probably see their own family members in him when they look at him.  So, I wasn't convinced she was really correct in saying he looked so much like me.


Well, still feeling strongly about this, she decided to send me some pictures of myself and even told me to compare one picture in particular to one of his baseball pictures we took. I do think my mother must have a fascination in comparing my appearance to males.  Growing up, she would tell me I looked like my grandfather to which I would adamantly retort, "I do not!" Now, she has chosen yet another male to illustrate how I look. Hmmmm....thanks! (just kidding only).


Even though I actually see a strong resemblance to my mother-in-law when I look at him (I'd love to compare those baby photos), there is no denying that he does look like me to some extent.  I'm not sure about the older baby photos, but I do see similarities in the newborn photos (granted, many newborns look alike).  I figured I would post some side-by-side photos here for you to compare.   My mother is convinced, but I say the jury is still out.


Newborn photo showdown
Me

vs.

Him

Me (again)

vs

Him

For some baby photos now

2 of me

(The top picture is the one for the comparison to the baseball photo)

and now vs 

Two pictures of him (as close of a pose as I can find)

I see clear differences in these..such as...oh say...the amount of hair! haha Also, I don't think he has my eyes and I think his face is rounder.  But there you go! Maybe he does resemble me.  Who knows?

And as an added bonus

Apparently, sometime during my childhood, I got hold of the first newborn picture that I posted.  And, feeling the need to make sure everyone knew who that lovable baby was, I wrote my name on the back.  Not only that, but I took extra care to scratch through my name written in my mother's handwriting-clearly kindergarten print is much superior.  And I also had to ensure that everyone knew that I was Rebecca not to be mistaken with my sister Megan as illustrated with the crossing out of her name.  My teachers would still confuse us anyway..oh darn!

Hello Jericho!

When we moved into our new house a few months ago, I had briefly seen one of our neighbor outside long enough to notice that she was pregnant also! We took a couple of days to actually move in.  So, our stuff was here while we were staying at the other house.  And, by the time we were settled in here, I didn't see her come out of her house again.


I just assumed that one of two things happened.  1.) She had her baby 2.) She was on bed rest.  Since I thought it was one of those two things and she was probably busy, I didn't go over to introduce myself.


Well, fast forward to July.  My mother was here shortly after the birth of little Gordon Lee.  And this was during the time when we were going through all of the mess with the jaundice.  It was the day after we had just come home from the hospital and my mother was diligently taking the baby outside to get him sunlight in order to bring those bilirubin levels down some more.  While she was outside walking with him, she came across two other people close to her age next door who struck up a conversation with her (or her with them--I'm not sure how it began).  


They said, "Oh you have a new baby too!" And my mother said something along the lines of, "Yes, he was just born on July 8th." To which they responded, "J's baby was born on July 8th too!"  The people she was speaking with were actually the other baby's great grandparents.  They invited my mom to come inside to meet baby Jericho born on the same day as Gordon Lee! Jericho was born on July 8th at around 11 am.  And our baby was born 12 hours later!


The lucky duck that she is, my neighbor was only in labor for 1 and 1/2 hours! Granted, she already has a little girl who is almost 2.  But still! I'm jealous of her labor.  I was waiting to write this blog until I had a picture of the two of them together.  They've been over here and I've been over there.  However, with the craziness of having small babies, we haven't been able to get a picture of both of them.


It's really great though that little Gordon Lee has a friend next door who has his exact same birthday! I can't even believe it! 

Breastfeeding: Things I didn't know and the benefits

I am thinking of starting a "series" of blogs about things I've discovered since having a child that I didn't take into consideration before he was here.  It's nothing I could have even expected without experiencing it.  Even with advice from others, there are just so many little things that go with having a baby that people either forget about, don't think about when giving advice, or simply things that vary from baby to baby.

Anyway, this week, I'm writing about things I've discovered about breastfeeding.  I wouldn't have seen myself writing on this topic except I have discovered so much from it, I feel I have to share.  

Plus, I participate in an online forum and have found that MANY women go through the exact same struggles with breastfeeding that I myself have faced.  

So I am making two lists here.  First, there are the challenges that I never imagined breastfeeding would pose.  And, second, there are many benefits that breastfeeding provides that I didn't even know about before starting.

UNEXPECTED ISSUES

• For many women, milk doesn't come in right away (as was my case) and the doctors and hospital staff will PUSH formula feeding so hard.  I felt lost my first week because on one side I was being pushed to give formula in bottles being told that was okay.  And on the other side people were saying don't dare give a bottle or pacifier as it could destroy my breastfeeding experience. 
• NOW- Picture this...you are sitting up at 1 am after having had a total of 3 hours of genuine sleep in a few days.  You are bleary-eyed, your child is only a few days old.  The strategies you've been given to help him latch only make him angry.  And he will not latch on for anything.  Oh and PLUS he's screaming at the top of his lungs because at this point he is starving and mad.  What do you do? Conflicting views/advice runs through your mind, you don't want to mess things up, but you have to take care of this child. This is exactly what I was thinking...what I went through.  Give him a bottle? Try to get him to continue to nurse? There is no professional to call on.  Your child is hungry.  Things aren't always as simple as you would think.  
• I found with him I had to put a small amount of formula in a bottle, stick the bottle in his mouth for a few seconds, take it out, and then immediately start breastfeeding.  It worked very well! This is actually how we got started.  
• I think if I'd had milk from day 1, it would have been easier.  But I will say that breastfeeding gets A LOT easier once milk is in.  When my milk came in, he chugged it down like it was the best stuff in the world.
• Also, the pacifiers I gave my baby (soothie and gumdrop) actually helped him strengthen his muscles enough to get milk out better.
• Not everyone can express milk easily.  And the amount expressed is NOT an indication of the amount of milk you are making.
• A doctor told me to pump my milk to see how much I was making.  Well, at first, I could only pump out half an ounce! 
• My baby was feeding well and gaining weight. So, I'm pretty sure I had a lot more than half an ounce! It was only after this that I researched it and found out that many women actually do not get much out with a pump..and I even used the expensive, high-end hospital pump to get at most 2 ounces.
• Breastfeeding can be very demanding 
• The thing about breastfeeding is that it works on a supply and demand basis.  So, supplementing with other things too much actually makes it more difficult in the end because the more the child nurses, the more milk you make.
• For me, this has meant literally nursing him around the clock sometimes.  Babies go through growth spurts meaning they can eat every half hour (going from 30 minutes after the start of the last session).  Basically, this ends up being the baby eating for hours on end.  I just get my liter of water and let him nurse as much as he wanted.
• There have been days when all I've been able to do has been nurse him and change his diapers from all he ate.
• It's not easy to know if the baby is getting milk, BUT there are little ways to tell!
• Not surprisingly, a lot of the time I can hear him gulping the milk down.  This is my favorite because I know he is getting tons of it when I hear the gulps.
• The baby's ear will wiggle as he/she sucks.
• The baby's jaw and temples will be moving.
• This is just my baby, but he twirls his foot when he is getting milk! It's so cute!
• Also, OUTPUT is the biggie.  My baby has at least 12 wet diapers a day plus at least 3-4 soiled ones.  As a nurse once told my mom, "If they be's a poopin, they be's a gettin' it!"  
• Also, the poop will look and have the consistency of mustard showing the baby is getting plenty of the good hind milk that is necessary. 

THE MANY BENEFITS OF BREASTFEEDING

• Nursing releases the hormone oxytocin into the body, which helps fight off postpartum depression.  I had some days where I felt kind of down after he was born.  But I found myself feeling better and better the more I nursed him.  I looked it up only to find out that positive hormones are released that help fight off those baby blues.  
• Breastfeeding also helps with weight loss after pregnancy.  I learned that it burns around 500 calories a day or more.  That's not bad at all!
• It also gives babies exactly what they need to stay healthy and fight off infections.
• Babies feel comfortable nursing.  My baby enjoys it so much that he actually doesn't want the bottle.  

I understand that there are many people out there who choose to formula feed.  And this blog is by no means pushing breastfeeding over formula feeding.  It's just what I've learned.

For me, I really didn't consider formula feeding as an option.  Plus, I actually feel really good nursing my baby.  I feel strange giving him a bottle.  BUT I never knew breastfeeding could have so many unforeseen challenges.

My doctor told me that many women give it up after 1 week. So she encouraged me to stick it out for at least 2.  Even now, at almost 5 weeks of it, I sometimes feel it would be easier to bottle feed.  If it weren't for my strong desire to do it, I would have given it up.  For anyone else who may be struggling with it, you are not alone and it really does get easier the more you stick with it.  There is also no pattern for how babies feed either.  Some are fast eaters and others are slow eaters.  Some go through fast growth spurts while others cluster feed for several days.

But the most amazing thing about it is that it all works naturally! Feeding the baby whenever he/she is hungry and letting him/her feed for as long as he/she wants to causes your body to react naturally and cater to the baby's needs.

Also, to those of you who had multiples and nursed them, hats off to you! One is a lot to me and I admire people who could do it with more than one!

A Few of my Favorite (baby) Things!

A common topic of conversation for many people I know who have been expecting is what baby items are worth buying and what would be a waste of money.  My personal feeling about this was that it's hard to say what is worth buying and what is a waste of money because people have different routines and even each baby will have different preferences.  So, maybe for one person something is a waste while another person finds it invaluable.


There are a few items that I had no idea I would treasure so much once my little one arrived.  I wanted to share these things because I have really found them to be wonderfully helpful when it comes to having a baby.


1.) A Wipe Warmer

I never knew the wonders of a warm wipe until now! When Gordon Lee was first born, you would think that a diaper change was torture for him.  He screamed bloody murder when a wipe went across his bottom.  We started running the wipes they gave us in the hospital under warm water, and it did help things quite a bit.  However, instead of having to run to a sink for every diaper change (which would be at least 12 times a day in our case), a great solution is a wipe warmer.  I had actually read about somebody else who said that she received a wipe warmer as a shower gift and didn't realize what a wonderful thing a warm wipe was.  But it really is a vast improvement to the cold wipe.  First of all, my baby tolerates diaper changes much better with a warm wipe.  Secondly, it actually cleans up the mess quicker which means using fewer wipes per diaper change!


2.) A Changing Table

This is one item that I was told would be a waste of money.  Several people I know said that they never used their changing table, and it is just as easy to change a diaper on the floor.  While that may be true for them, I find the changing table to be fantastic! I can keep everything together and not have to run across the house for Desitin because I forgot to grab it pre diaper change (which did happen once when I decided to change a diaper in my bedroom).  There were a few people who did say that they used their changing table.  So, it isn't as if everybody said it would be a waste of money, but I was surprised at how many people simply told me I didn't need one.  I use this every day! I love it! Messes are easy to clean up on it.  And, as I said, everything is right there.  (Thank you to my mother-in-law who got me the table!)


3.) Newborn T-Shirts

These are great for a summer baby (especially in the Georgia heat)! I received a set of 5 newborn-sized t-shirts from my in-laws, and I had no idea how much I would love them! When breastfeeding, it is advised at the beginning to have the baby down to his/her diaper to keep him/her awake while feeding.  Having a t-shirt makes changing the baby so quick and simple! The t-shirts I received have 3 snaps that close them up, so it's really easy to change him in and out of them.  


There are many other things that I have that I really love.  But these are the things that I am surprised to find I enjoy (and use) so much!