Friday, February 17, 2012

Counting my Blessings

I have been absent from my blog for almost a month now, and that has nothing to do with not wanting to blog or having nothing to write about.  I've been spending most of my time chasing after a very active 7-month-old who is very determined to get whatever thing he is after.  And, as he gets older, the more he gets fixated on one thing and will not accept any "substitutes." He definitely keeps me on my toes.

But as I seem to have a little more time today (due to the fact that my husband has a 4 day weekend), I want to share something that has been in the center of my thoughts recently, and that is remembering to be thankful for every little thing.  We humans are accustomed to grumbling and complaining and losing perspective very easily as our situation changes.

I remember shortly after Gordon Lee was born asking my mom to please tell me it gets easier.  I saw this future of always feeding him every hour for the rest of his life and having him cry regardless of the situation continuously.  Yes, it has gotten easier.  And, believe it or not, I VERY quickly forget that.

I find myself exhausted and agitated when he wakes up in the middle of the night (admittedly, even if it's just once, I get annoyed). Because since he's started sleeping throughout the night, I have gotten used to that.  So, when the nights come (and they do) when he doesn't sleep, I start getting flustered.  One night the other week (when he'd woken up twice in one night), I sat down and gave myself a reality check.  I remembered the nights when he'd wake up maybe even 4-5 times.  I also asked myself why I was getting so worked up, don't I get a lot of sleep most nights? Timid answer from my stubborn mind, "Well..yes." So I decided...JUST to keep things in check with put a star on the calendar for every night he sleeps through the night.  Then, I will not put a star for every night he wakes up.  Yes, of course, the stars outweigh the blank spaces.

Then, there is napping.  I again get flustered when he wakes up from a nap prematurely.  I have gotten used to his schedule where he goes down for a nap mid-morning, sleeps roughly 2 hours, and then goes down for another 90 minute-2 hour nap in the late afternoon.  When something wakes him up prematurely, I know he'll be tired and cranky and I know he needs more sleep.  But there is this part of me that just doesn't want to be bothered...that wants things to follow a pattern of predictability.  Well, with a baby, they just don't! And that's just it! Yet, that is just another lesson for me in counting my blessings. I remember days when Gordon Lee did not nap on any schedule at all.  He just slept whenever he felt like it for however long (sometimes that would only be 10 minutes).  And my focus at that time was to just make it through the day.

Even when he has days when he doesn't nap as well now, it is nothing like it used to be. Yet another reason I should be thankful! I should be thankful that he takes great naps most of the time and understand there will be days when he just doesn't.  Heck! He may even grow into a stage of fighting naps all the time.  And that is okay!

Because I have plenty to be thankful for! Besides, no matter what happens, I will (and he will) eventually get sleep! And I think we will be just fine!