Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Staying Home with the Baby

I made the final decision and the announcement this past week that I will not return to work next year.  As strange as it is, this wasn't an easy decision to make.  I had thought that I would have no problem stopping work for children until I came across an unplanned pregnancy! :) It caught me in the middle of everything I was doing and all I kept thinking was "I don't know what to do."

I know I wrote a blog on this earlier about breaking the news to people at work.  Then, later, I actually didn't want to leave my job! I went back and forth for a little while there.  I think I would have more easily been able to make the decision to stay home if the people I work with hadn't just expected me to come back.  That was what started me on thinking I should stay.  Then, I actually felt like I'd miss going to work.  

I talked with the principal who didn't want me to leave.  One of my reasons I gave him for not returning was that there is a possibility we will be moving in December.  I have 6 weeks of maternity leave starting at the beginning of the next school year.  So, I'd basically work 12 weeks and then leave.  To me, that didn't make much sense.  He suggested that I sign my contract. He said he'd get a long-term sub who would cover while I was gone.  Then, I could come back while he gave the sub other positions to fill and the sub would have my position in January.  At first, that sounded reasonable.  But then I got to thinking about it and I really felt it would be selfish of me to do that.  I couldn't imagine what that sub would go through being tossed around like that.  I thought it would be better for the students, the substitute, and the school (and of course my child) for me to just take the time to be a stay-at-home mom.  I told the principal I would take time to think about it, and that was the decision I came to.

Ultimately, I just felt like I was supposed to take the time to be with my child.  This was the decision that brought me the most peace.  I started writing this blog a couple of days ago and I just didn't feel like finishing it right then.  I'm not sure which date will post with the blog.

But anyway, it's kind of funny that I waited because I went to school this week.  And, after I had spoken with my principal, I received the nicest card in my box.  Plus, he also told me that if I ever do want a job, I could have one again.  That was very nice! 
Here is the card he gave me
No matter how silly it may sound, this card was the final reassurance to me that this is the best decision to make. :)