Monday, October 18, 2010

Whispers in the Wind

As I was preparing to leave work on Friday, there were many unexpected things that popped up last minute.  I was not able to finish something that I wanted to complete.  It was getting late and I began to think, "What's more important? Staying here trying to get something to work that isn't working or going home and being with your husband?" The second option won out.  I could dedicate my entire being to work, and that would be great for them.  But I won't sacrifice some things because I don't think I'm supposed to.

So, I wasn't able to do something and I am thinking somebody will be frustrated with me for it.  I'll go in early and try to get it done this morning.  Yet, this was another factor for me that kept me feeling like I'd fail somebody.  So, I woke up early and I prayed for guidance.  I read Elisabeth Elliot's daily devotional and it was so funny how it applied to my situation directly!  

I started reading and it said, "When Lars and I returned from a fortnight in Scotland and England there was the expected pile-up of work awaiting us, and the usual temptation to feel overwhelmed by it. The suitcase had to be unpacked, clothes washed, mail opened, read, and answered. There were phone messages waiting, and phone calls we needed to make to family members. Do you know the feeling of utter inadequacy to cope?" Yes, Elisabeth, I do.  Tell me more, please.  "Monday came. But I felt like the wheels of the Egyptian chariots which 'drave heavily.' There were interruptions, distractions. I could not get on as expected. My mind was dull, confused. At the end of the day I could not see what I had done with my time." Hmm...that sounds like my Friday.  As soon as something started, there was an interruption.  What if today ends up like this? Well, she continued, "Tuesday was a continuation of the day before. Where had those hours gone? I took my usual walk after lunch around Ocean Drive--a cloudless sky, a glittering sea. I walked alone, talking to God about my failures, asking Him to clarify things." So, it could continue.  Well, now what? I cannot quote the rest of her devotional because it would be far too long.  The answer in the end was our minds become warped by our worries and our situations.  

None of us will ever get by without having life pile on top of us.  The easiest way for us to feel like we can get out of it is just to blame it all on everyone and everything else.  Take grievance with them because if it weren't for them everything would be perfect, right? Asking for troubles and stresses to stop is like trying to plan for rain and thunderstorms to quit.  We will endure them, and they are just as necessary for our nourishment and growth as are the days filled with sunshine and blue skies.