Giving Birth to a Baby Gives Birth to a New You

There may be people in this world who stay the same as they were before a baby after having one, but I am not one of those people.  The saying "having a baby changes everything" really is true for me in so many ways (including becoming proficient at typing with one hand as I am doing now). 


I distinctly remember a very emotional moment for us when Gordon Lee was only 5 days old.  We were checked back into the hospital due to elevated bilirubin levels.  And after having a doctor tell me that he may need to go to the NICU to have a blood transfusion, I was a complete mess.  I was sobbing over the phone to my mother who was gently trying her best to keep me calm. I'm sure that hormones weren't helping matters.  But all I could see was my poor little newborn having to lie underneath these lights with an IV hooked into his arm and I couldn't hold him or comfort him.  I would have done anything to take his place.  


Both of my parents and my in-laws were so helpful and reassuring.  My mother-in-law had been through this when Lee was a baby so she knew EXACTLY how I felt.  My mother took some time to tell me about their own story of feeling at a loss with a brand new baby.  When my sister was a newborn, she had a heart murmur and it was very scary for them.  She also told me of other people we know who had to watch their babies go through tests, surgery, etc.  My dad said something along the lines of "When you have a baby, your whole perspective changes.  It suddenly isn't about you, but it is about that child." I definitely agree with that 100%.  


There are so many things that have changed for me after he has come into this world.

• I never knew I'd start getting into homeopathic medicine as much as I have been.  When something has been ailing him, I don't want to let him just suffer through it.  However, I also want to be careful of what I put in his tiny system.  I have been blessed to find so many homeopathic cures for things that actually work wonderfully well with him.
• I never thought I would be so hesitant to get him immunized.  He actually hasn't had his shots yet because he had a rash at his 2 month appointment that prevented him from getting them.  But something in me feels like if he got sick with a fever after his shots, it would be my fault.  Granted, I could technically see it the other way around as well because if I neglected to get him a shot and then he got sick, I could blame myself that way too.  I'm not saying whether he should be or shouldn't be immunized, I just never realized I would see it the way I did when it came down to it.  
• I was procrastinating A LOT.  When you have maybe 1-2 hours at a time to do things like, oh say, shower, you realize how MUCH time you had before.  And also how much of that time was wasted! I think now of days I went to work and came home feeling exhausted.  I didn't know what exhaustion was!  I also didn't know how easily I could bounce back from it and keep going along.

Like I said, having a baby really does change everything, but I'd say it's definitely in a good way. ;)

Anything You Can Do I can Do BETTER

"The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry." -Robert Burns

I love this little boy.  Kenny Chesney has a song with lyrics that say, "There goes my life, there goes my future, my everything.." And I can say I truly know how that feels.  A child changes your life; it is suddenly not about you at all anymore.  Your child is your everything.

With that said, I have been contemplating a rather serious topic for something I have learned.  I've taken some time to think about it and pray about it before posting.  In Galatians 6:14, Paul says, "May I not boast in anything except in the cross of our Lord Jesus." Things such as lying, cheating, and stealing are rather straightforward and clear. We know for certain when we are doing them or when we are not.  However, the most cleverly-disguised issue we all find ourselves in is pride.  It can be hidden in the very best intentions.

I have had a variety of conversations with my parents recently about generational differences in parenting.  My mother was in Florida visiting her friend's mother who commented that it is interesting how people of my generation tend to ask "why" more often when parenting.  Her granddaughter will wonder why her son is crying.  And, being from another generation, she said she doesn't recall wondering why her babies cried.  She just chalked it up to "babies cry" and moved on with life.  

Once while my parents were visiting, we got into a conversation of breast feeding versus bottle feeding.  My dad isn't sure what his mother did, but he was pretty certain that during the time he was a baby, bottle feeding was actually more popular.  Since his parents are not around to answer it and my mom's mother wouldn't be able to tell us now, we asked a lady we know from the same generation.  She had bottle fed her children.  We took a guess, from a story that my grandmother told about a "bottle hitting the floor," that both my mom and her brother were formula fed.  During the 1980s, when I was a baby, things had turned the other way and more babies were breast fed.  We actually looked this up online to find it (however, I no longer know where it was we found the information).

Anyway, the point is, styles of parenting are changing all of the time.  As a mother who loves her son, I want what is BEST for him.  I don't want to mess up. But who does?  As a parent, I have also become more acutely aware of the fact that the vast majority of parents love their children more than their children will know.  Yes, there are a few who leave much to be desired.  Yet, most really do care deeply for their children and want what is best for them.

But it is easy, in this seemingly wonderful attempt of loving, to become arrogant and proud.  If I am honest with myself, coated underneath "I want to do what is best for my child," I am also partaking in the thoughts "I will do things right." "I will do things better." So, that leaves the question, who did it wrong? Am I judging others who aren't doing things the way that I am? And if I think the way I am doing something is so good, I really need to be careful, because there is pride hidden in that.

Many (if not almost everyone) knows that "pride comes before the fall." In the movie "I am Sam" an attorney tries to prove that he is not fit to father his daughter because he stated he made "mistakes that were huge." To this, his attorney fires back, "didn't you feel as a parent that you made mistakes, mistakes that were huge?" I LOVE this part of the movie because it makes a valid point, who is to say they truly know better? Everyone will feel, despite great attempts to be the "perfect" parent, that they made "mistakes that were huge." 

So, instead of striving to do things a certain way in the name of "what is best for my child," I am going to aim to start taking it one day at a time knowing I will mess up.  Because really, if I am honest with myself, I am not really thinking about what is best for my child, I am thinking about being the best and that, my friends, is nothing more than selfish pride.  God will guide me to do what is best and humble me through it because nobody can parent perfectly except Him.

Little Things

Prevsiously, I had done a post about some baby items that I discovered I really liked.  Well, for this week's blog about something I've learned after baby, I am going to share a few more items that I like.  Take it or leave it because I know everyone has their own preferences and I would hate for somebody to feel as though I misled them.  Also, as I had said in the other post, each baby is different.  But these are some things I found to be great for Gordon Lee.

1.) First of all, Gordon Lee has colic.  He had a few difficult bouts with it starting at around 3 weeks, and we felt so bad because there was little to do to relieve the pain.  We did give him gas drops; however, those were not even enough at times.  He'd still have periods of time when his tummy would get very tight and he would be screaming.  Well, in the midst of all of this, I came across a recommendation for Hyland's colic tablets. 

I was still unsure as I had never heard of them before.  So, I did research and read at least 50 reviews on them.  Since the overwhelming majority of the reviews raved about them, I decided I would give them a try.  I also talked to my doctor about it.  She said that she believed they would be a good alternative to the gas drops and was familiar with Hylands and would trust their product.  After I gave him the initial dose of 2 tablets, a huge burp came up in less than a minute and he relaxed in my arms.  It was really wonderful.  Even with a lot of burping, he can still get colicky, and I have found it usually only takes 1 dose of these tablets a day to keep the colic away! They work so fast, and he hasn't had episodes with a tight tummy since he started taking them.

2.) As a shower gift, I received something called butt paste from my mother.  From the name of the product to the way it was packaged, I wasn't exactly at all interested in trying it.

It just seemed like maybe some knock-off brand that I'd try if I didn't have any other options.  Well, as it happened, I ran out of Desitin one day.  All I had around the house was a small packet of butt paste.   So, I got it out and decided it was better than nothing...only to find out it is better than anything! I'd tried quite a few different types of ointments to help his diaper rash and the Butt Paste was what really did it.  It often has the rash cleared up by the next diaper.  I promptly asked my husband to go out and buy a tube.  One note, however, is that there are apparently 2 kinds.  I found this out reading reviews about it online.  Everyone seemed to love the original Butt Paste (found in the yellow package with the label "original" on it); however, there is apparently another formula sold in a green bottle that people didn't like as much.  I do wish it had a better name with a more appealing package.  But Butt Paste it is for us now; nothing else I've tried works like it.  Lesson learned--I should trust my mother.

3.) When Gordon Lee was first born, it was easy to pick up almost any blanket to swaddle him in.  Yet, this quickly began to change.  We also found out that he has very sensitive skin.  So, he often goes around in just a diaper because his skin starts to break out if he sweats even just a little bit.  This is problematic, though, if your baby enjoys being swaddled but sweats at night.

For both of these reasons, I have discovered I LOVE carter's 100% cotton receiving blankets.  My doctor had told me that babies with sensitive skin often do better with 100% cotton materials (which I have found to be true for him).  Plus, these blankets are the PERFECT size for swaddling my 2 month old baby.  They stretch a little too, so I can still get him nice and snug with these blankets.  The ones pictured aren't the same ones I have, but they are similar enough.  I originally had 2 that my in-laws gave to me as a shower gift.  After realizing how much I liked them, I went out and bought 4 more.



Can Do Attitude

Today's post is going to be a double-post.  First of all, I wanted to write my blogs about what I've discovered after having a baby with some regularity, predictability, etc.  So, I designated Thursday for these posts (unless something else comes up).  However, today is also a special day.  It is September 8th and Gordon Lee is 2 months old today.  Today's post will cover something I've learned and a few things about Gordon Lee on his 2 month birthday.

I remember working out at the YMCA with my dad a couple of years ago.  I had been lifting (what I felt) was a good amount of weight.  I was on a leg extension machine lifting two 45 lb plates on each side.  I felt pretty tired.  At this point, my father came over and added two more 45 lb plates.  WHAT?!? 180 pounds? You have got to be kidding me! "I can't do that!" I told him.  He reassured me that I could and to at least try a few repetitions.  Well, after lifting quite a few times (I no longer remember how many), I realized that I very well could do it! After this fact, he told me that sometimes you think you've reached your limit just because your mind thinks so when really you haven't.  


I won't forget this lesson because it has carried over to so many other areas of my life.  I am going to stop holding my breath for some elusive future when things are going to get "easier." During Gordon Lee's first week or so, I remember asking my mom, "Please tell me it gets easier." I'd been so sleep deprived due to the fact that I hadn't slept in over 24 hours after he was born.  Then, he needed to eat every 1-2 hours.  And I remember thinking, When in the world am I going to get any sleep? It just seemed like an uphill struggle that had no end.  


I knew it would get easier, but I spent my days just waiting for the next week, the next day, the next month when things would stop being so crazy.  Plain and simple.  They haven't.  Some days are easier than others.  But my baby still wants to eat basically every hour.  He is "supposed" to be able to space feedings out 3-4 hours at this point.  But, unfortunately, babies don't read the books on what they are supposed to do.  So, every hour it is (except at night when he goes 3-4 hours).  Then, he often cluster feeds from 6-10 pm meaning he eats every 30 minutes.  Yes, that is a lot of eating.  But it just goes right through him!  


I know a lot of people expecting babies right now, and I am not trying to make it seem bad.  Having a baby is a wonderful thing; it just isn't easy.  Basically, what I'm trying to say is when you think you can't to it, you can! There have been days when Gordon Lee is wonderfully peaceful and then there are other days when it seems all he ever does is cry, eat, and sleep.  I have thought I couldn't do it, but the truth is, I can.  If I keep waiting for it to get easier, then I am missing out on the time that I have with him now, which I know is so short!


Now for PART 2

Gordon Lee is 2 months old today! As now now, here are a few of the things he is doing.

smiling...as I have hundreds of pictures of this because I can't get enough of it!

laughing...he actually doesn't laugh that often but he will let out a few chuckles every now and then.  It is super cute when he does.

Fixating on objects more.   It used to be that he could only stand a few minutes (if even that long) laying down on his little playmat before he started screaming like he was in a torture chamber.  Now, he actually takes notice of the things there and will lie there for much longer.  However, he still has a lot of times when he wants nothing to do with it.  In the video, he is having a moment when he can't get enough of his star that lights up and plays music for him.

He also interacts quite a bit.  If I say things like "Hi," "Hi, Gordon Lee," "I love you" or "Good Morning," he often responds with a coo or a little happy noise.

It really is fun to watch him grow and develop.  Babies change so fast.  It sometimes seems like there is something new every day!

Home

I am planning on making a trip home starting Monday while my husband goes to training in South Carolina.  I should arrive there on Tuesday and stay for about 2 weeks.  For those of you at "home," I'd love to meet up if you are available.  It will be nice to be able to get of the house more.  It's hard for Lee and myself here because he works very long hours.  He is very kind to watch the baby for a little while when he gets home every day so that I can work out.  But I hate to have him watch the baby too much on his own because he works 12+ hours (sometimes 24 hours) and I feel he needs a chance to relax. Even though I feel run-down sometimes with the baby, I at least do have the opportunity to lay down and nap when I feel like it.  


During the day, when I want to go out, I always go with a baby in tow.  It's a lot tricker than it seems.  I have to decide if I should take the stroller, or put the carseat in a cart.  Gordon Lee's carseat is too big to sit in the upper part of the cart, so he has to take up the whole cart.  I could take him out of his carseat and wear him around as I shop, but that's extra time and guaranteed crying for him.  The tear-free way is to leave him in his carseat.  Usually I put the carseat into his stroller and grab a basket to pick up a few things.  Sometimes, when I go to Target, I put him in the cart.  But I still can't pick up anything big because it's not like I'm going to put something on top of him. lol  I never would have imagined that shopping with a baby would take so much "figuring out."


So, I definitely look forward to just going to the store without having to worry about exactly how I am going to get in and out of there...or sticking my butt out of the side of the backseat while I fasten him in there.  I have never been so homesick as I am now.  Having time with the baby is great, but I do miss some independence every now and then.  The gym is actually a much-coveted time for me.  It is a little time when I don't have to worry about the baby and it actually provides me with one more thing--something I can control.  Soothing him sometimes feels like taking shots in the dark.  Sometimes something works and other times it doesn't.  But when I go to the gym, I know that if I do something a certain way, I will have the same result every time.  I never knew how refreshing that would be.


I am rambling now.  I never knew I would long for the comforts of home and family as much as I am.  And I am truly looking forward to feeling a little more care-free during the day.  Thank you, Mama and Papa!

Sleep Update

Well, I've been trying different techniques to help Gordon Lee nap in his crib that I have gotten from The No Cry Sleep Solution.  I was really surprised by some of the things that make so much sense that I just had not even thought of.


During nap time now he sleeps with a darker curtain up, he has his white noise machine going, I bundle him, and I actually let him sleep with his head in the corner of the crib.  Granted, I wouldn't advise having the baby sleep that way unless under close supervision.  I check on him regularly.  Otherwise, I wouldn't let him sleep like that.  In the book, the author explains that many babies like to sleep with their head "lodged," which is why many of them prefer sleeping in a car seat, infant swing, etc.  I already knew he preferred his car seat.  But I had also noticed that when I lay down with him, he likes to nuzzle his head up in my armpit.  So, I thought facing the back of his head toward the corner of the crib might help this for the time being.  I didn't get this idea from the book, but I came up with it on my own.  This type of sleep preference is apparently one that they grow out of soon after 3 months.  I also wouldn't let him sleep like this at night.  It has seemed to help a lot.  He does still wake up in his crib more often than his carseat.  However, he tends to sleep better in this position while in the crib (below is a dark picture of what he looks like sleeping this way).  

As I had said in the last blog, he is really addicted to nursing himself to sleep.  The book touched on this topic quite a bit leaving me to realize many nursing mothers have the same dilemma.  Here's an excerpt from the book describing the situation I have been in, "I've worked with many mothers whose babies are so used to Mom's presence that Mom has to put herself to bed at 7:00 and stay there because her baby has built-in radar that won't allow her to leave him alone.  Mommy also has to take daytime naps whether she wants to or not!"  This is Gordon Lee to a T! He seems to "know" (even when sleeping soundly) when I walk away.  Just minutes after I head out, he often wakes up.  This is one major reason I want him to learn to nap in his crib because I want him to learn that he can go back to sleep without me being right there.


What's her advice for getting the baby to learn this? She writes, "If you want your baby to be able to fall asleep without your help, it is essential that you sometimes let your newborn baby suck until she is sleepy, but not totally asleep.  As often as you can remove the baby and let her finish falling asleep without something in her mouth.  When you do this, your baby may resist, root, and fuss.  It's perfectly OK to give it back and start over a few minutes later.  Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.  If you do this often enough, she will eventually learn how to fall asleep without sucking." So, this is what I've been doing.  And I don't know how well it is working.  


Gordon Lee seemed to have more trouble falling asleep last night without nursing than ever before.  However, he is just now waking up from his 2nd nap of the day and during both naps, he did wake up briefly only to go back to sleep on his own without needing to nurse!  So, who knows? I guess only time will tell if we make progress.

I Didn't Imagine It

I just wanted to post an update that I went to Gold's Gym on Saturday and I braved the free weights granted, there wasn't much to brave as only 3 guys were there. I picked up some 15 lb (bc they didn't have 12) dumbbells and did some bicep curls.  


As I was standing there between sets, I happened to glance up and see a giant sign of "free weight rules" tacked up above the mirror.  And, I kid you not, the very FIRST rule was "No grunting, yelling, or intimidating other members." I had to laugh to myself about this one! So, I wasn't imagining things; they really were intimidating.  I have belonged to a couple of different gyms and this is the first one where I have seen that rule. 


And, of course, not only was it a rule, but it was the first rule.  I'm sure they would not have put it up there if they had no reason to do it.  


But anyway, I think I'm going to try to go during the middle of the day as much as possible because it is nice and quiet with hardly anyone there.