Thursday, September 29, 2011

Giving Birth to a Baby Gives Birth to a New You

There may be people in this world who stay the same as they were before a baby after having one, but I am not one of those people.  The saying "having a baby changes everything" really is true for me in so many ways (including becoming proficient at typing with one hand as I am doing now)

I distinctly remember a very emotional moment for us when Gordon Lee was only 5 days old.  We were checked back into the hospital due to elevated bilirubin levels.  And after having a doctor tell me that he may need to go to the NICU to have a blood transfusion, I was a complete mess.  I was sobbing over the phone to my mother who was gently trying her best to keep me calm. I'm sure that hormones weren't helping matters.  But all I could see was my poor little newborn having to lie underneath these lights with an IV hooked into his arm and I couldn't hold him or comfort him.  I would have done anything to take his place.  

Both of my parents and my in-laws were so helpful and reassuring.  My mother-in-law had been through this when Lee was a baby so she knew EXACTLY how I felt.  My mother took some time to tell me about their own story of feeling at a loss with a brand new baby.  When my sister was a newborn, she had a heart murmur and it was very scary for them.  She also told me of other people we know who had to watch their babies go through tests, surgery, etc.  My dad said something along the lines of "When you have a baby, your whole perspective changes.  It suddenly isn't about you, but it is about that child." I definitely agree with that 100%.  

There are so many things that have changed for me after he has come into this world.

  • I never knew I'd start getting into homeopathic medicine as much as I have been.  When something has been ailing him, I don't want to let him just suffer through it.  However, I also want to be careful of what I put in his tiny system.  I have been blessed to find so many homeopathic cures for things that actually work wonderfully well with him.
  • I never thought I would be so hesitant to get him immunized.  He actually hasn't had his shots yet because he had a rash at his 2 month appointment that prevented him from getting them.  But something in me feels like if he got sick with a fever after his shots, it would be my fault.  Granted, I could technically see it the other way around as well because if I neglected to get him a shot and then he got sick, I could blame myself that way too.  I'm not saying whether he should be or shouldn't be immunized, I just never realized I would see it the way I did when it came down to it.  
  • I was procrastinating A LOT.  When you have maybe 1-2 hours at a time to do things like, oh say, shower, you realize how MUCH time you had before.  And also how much of that time was wasted! I think now of days I went to work and came home feeling exhausted.  I didn't know what exhaustion was!  I also didn't know how easily I could bounce back from it and keep going along.
Like I said, having a baby really does change everything, but I'd say it's definitely in a good way. ;)

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