Planet of the Apes

Now that I have been given permission to start exercising again, I am wanting to kick it into overdrive.  I cannot even begin to explain how depressed I get at the state my body has been left in post pregnancy.  A lot of this is my fault anyway because I should have been in better shape BEFORE I got pregnant and not caved to so many cravings I had during pregnancy. 


Anyway, during the pregnancy, I was working out and it was so hard.  I mean, you can't help but gain weight.  So, it just gets harder and harder to exercise.  I figured that it would be easier to exercise post pregnancy because at least then I wouldn't be gaining weight each time I worked out.  And I could actually feel like I was working towards something instead of against it.


Well, I only just started working out yesterday.  I am SUPER motivated because I cannot stand the condition I am in now.  I am completely driven to work hard.  My husband and I have worked out a nice deal that I will head to the gym when he gets home from work.  It's nice.  I get to burn off some extra energy and I only take about an hour.  


So, I'm starting out doing a lot of strength training.  And I completely shocked myself yesterday with how LITTLE I was actually able to do (only more motivation for me to keep at it at this point).  I struggled to lift half the weight I used to and my legs felt like jello walking out of the gym.  


I went back today to work on upper body only to discover that I am completely intimidated by the men at Gold's Gym.  At any gym, the men dominate the free weights as though that is their territory and some never work out anywhere else.  However, Gold's Gym (at least the one here) seems very much different.  The free weights are swarmed with men strutting around in their he-manness (yes I'm aware that's not a word).  And while I should be seeing this.

I'm seeing something more like this.

I get this whole "My Territory: Keep Out Because I Have Big Muscles" vibe--whether that is real or imagined.  And I get the feeling all of the other women at the gym feel that way as well.  Because I haven't seen even one woman over there..not one.  

When I used to work out at the YMCA, the majority of the people in the free weights was also the male population.  However, they didn't seem to clog it up and strut around as if they owned it.  And there were always a few women over there.

And, of course, I feel like you can tell my looking at me that I clearly have not been working out and I just "don't belong."  So, I resigned myself to the "women's" weight lifting machines tonight because I felt that was where I felt the least intimidated.  But I know I'd get a better work out with the free weights.  

I'm thinking I will just have to get over my whole intimidation (I'm even afraid to look at them) of these men who look like they could bulldoze a bus with their bare hands...and step in there, pick up my 12 lb dumbbells and do what I need to do.