This evening, I was happily taking care of a few things and looking forward to a new day tomorrow when I received an e-mail that really brought me down. It was telling me that I had not done something that I was asked to do. I actually had done what I was asked. It was, in fact, that the other person had not realized or remembered what the request actually was. Everything came down on me as if it were my deliberate choosing to be irresponsible or maybe some sort of incompetence on my part. I felt like a popped ballon where one tiny pin prick allowed my whole surface to fall apart.
My immediate reaction was to fire back, "No, actually, you said..." or "I didn't mean to." But I sat there and I thought about it and I prayed about it. Then, I came to the conclusion that it is better to say nothing and simply just do the thing that has been clarified to me. One quote that Elisabeth Elliot has said for sure is, "Silence, as someone has said, is the mother of prayer and the nurse of holy thoughts. Silence cuts down on our sins, doesn't it? We can't be sinning in so many different ways if we are being quiet before God. Silence nourishes patience, charity, discretion." I realized that retaliating or saying anything would have been me trying to save face and that would only be a manifestation of pride.
It is usually in our nature (and I'm pretty sure this is what this person was doing with me) to place blame elsewhere because the weight of blame for a mistake is uncomfortable. Maybe the person said the wrong thing. Maybe I actually heard the wrong thing. Is either one of our mistakes earth shattering? No. Is it worth getting upset over? No. So, being an adult doesn't depend on whether others are being adults. It depends on training your mind to understand that life isn't about you and your world isn't the world.
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These are very wise words and thoughts! You are a mentor to those much older than you.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the previous post. Very meaningful.
ReplyDeleteAnd vote for Lauren in the yobaby contes.