As I was lying down trying to fall asleep last night, I had numerous thoughts swirling through my head. None of them were good. I was wrapped up in being upset about some things that I wish I could change right now but can't. It was so bad that I didn't want to go to sleep to wake up and deal with things the next day. I wanted my sleep to last. And then, when I did wake up, to not have to go through any of the issues I am having to endure right now.
Not much longer had I been thinking about all of this (feeling anxious and upset) then a very calming process of thoughts went through my head (much like a conversation).
"So, where are you right now?"
"Are you comfortable? Are you happy?"
"Well, Yes. But the thing is that tomorrow..."
"Where are you now?"
"In bed, comfortable"
"Will you let the pressures and anxieties of tomorrow interrupt your peace right now?"
"I suppose not."
And I felt so at peace, so relaxed, and so truly happy to focus on the now. Each time I worried, even a little bit, the question "Where are you NOW?" came into my mind, and I settled into a nice, relaxing sleep.
But before doing that, I apologized to God. I said I'm sorry for being anxious, because in being anxious I'm not remembering to be thankful for my blessings. And being upset and worried (even if they are legitimate reasons) only negate the beautiful things that are plentifully around me in life. I have much to be thankful for and much to be happy with.
And I thought to myself, "Who is to steal this happiness away from me?" It would make sense that when I have so many things that are great, something would interfere with my peace to keep me from being content with what I have.
It is hard to push all of the worries of life aside because so many things that happen are easily predictable. And I often feel like only living in right now and not worrying about tomorrow doesn't make sense because I have to plan for tomorrow. But the thing is, no matter how many mornings my alarm goes off, I have my cup of coffee, I feed the dogs, I get ready, and I drive to work, I really do not know what will happen in the day. And I do think it is wrong of me to worry about it because there is so much to be happy with RIGHT NOW! :)