1. Pay ATTENTION Ladies
Whenever the news media begins to hash out news about affairs, I often try to avoid listening to it at all costs. It really hurts me to know that somebody is going through something so embarrassing, hurtful, and traumatic only to have all of the messy details of it displayed for all to see/hear so that news ratings go up. It makes me sick to know that people can shamelessly report on that without feeling any sensitivity to the person suffering from this marital affair. My heart goes out to those women.
However, even though I have made efforts to turn off the radio, look away from magazines, and change the television channel, there are little snapshots from these stories involving Jon Gosselin, Tiger Woods, Jesse James, etc. that I have noticed and it makes me want to take these women, shake them, and yell at them in their faces. Every time, it is the SAME SONG AND DANCE!!!! Doesn't it get OLD?? The man has told some other woman that his relationship with the current women is "not working out" they are "getting divorced" or he makes elaborate plans with the new woman to "get out of the old relationship and into the new one." DON'T THESE WOMEN PAY ATTENTION? HELLO!!!! He will say whatever he can to get whatever he wants out of you and then move on with his way. If he could keep things the way he'd have them he'd have his wife and his woman on the side too! I can't believe these women keep falling for the same trick. IT IS THE SAME THING EVERY TIME WITH EVERY ONE OF THEM. Then, their excuse is, "Well, he's the bad one. He lied to me. I didn't know." Sorry, lady, yes, you did know. POINT BLANK: Stay AWAY from married men! Those women knew that, no matter what that man said he was married, and they should have stayed away. They are JUST as guilty.
2. There will ALWAYS be somebody who could possibly sabotage your relationship if you let them
There is currently a song on the radio that I absolutely hate. In fact my husband and I both hate it. As I was riding along in his truck with him this past week, the song came on, he turned it down or changed the station and said, "She is always singing about this same thing every time!" I laughed and agreed. The song, which I'm sure many other people have heard, is called "According to You." Granted, I can't judge her personal relationship, but I think the song is bad news. The main lines say, "According to you, I'm stupid, I'm useless, I can't do anything right. But according to him, I'm beautiful, incredible, he can't get me out of his head.." I do not condone abusive relationships and I think that you should get out of a truly abusive relationship.
BUT anybody who has just met you or doesn't know you can think you're fantastic. They don't see you on your good days and bad days in and out. And I do believe that song has fed an idea that is hazardous. People becomes dissatisfied in their current relationships and as soon as something seems better they fall for it easily. My husband and I pledged "for better or for worse" and I pray we will remember that.
My parents advised me growing up that, when you are married, you do not go to a person of the opposite sex other than your spouse because that is dangerous ground. A couple of years ago, I read a book where a woman recounted a major mistake she made in her marriage. She was going through an issue that her husband didn't understand. So, she found herself talking to a male friend about these things and he seemed to understand so much better than her husband. Soon, she felt as though he just understood her better, and she started wanting to go to him for more things. Luckily, she snapped out of it and quit talking to him. But she realized that she was playing with fire. Since her husband didn't understand one little thing, it soon SEEMED like he didn't understand more and more things, which she realized was not true. This other person was simply an idea.
When I made my vows to my husband, part of that vow is that I am not going to go to any other man about something even if I feel my husband doesn't understand. Because we will easily fall into that "but according to HIM" trap that can destroy even an amazing relationship. Nobody is perfect, and this leads me to my last point.
3. Contentment is Essential
On the phone tonight I thanked my husband for putting up with me because I know I can be difficult at times. He replied saying that there is nothing to "put up with." But I said, "I know I can get emotional sometimes and I know that I make mistakes on a daily basis.." His answer was, "Well, everyone does that." He doesn't see me as anything difficult, but I know I can work on things. I know I can work on being less emotional about certain things. But I am thankful that he loves me in spite of it and doesn't see it as a thing at all.
In return, he thanked me for loving him in spite of himself as well. Of course, I had a similar response because I didn't see those things in him as burdensome. But he knows and I know that we both choose to see the positive in the other person. Because anybody who will live with you and be with you day in and out for years will see the good, bad, and ugly. That person is a precious treasure in your life who we ought to cherish and be thankful for.