Irony

Recently, I was doing a unit on satire with one of my classes.  I had covered situational irony and verbal irony.  Situational irony is a contrast between what you expect to happen and what happens.  Verbal irony is a contrast between what is said and what is meant (in short, sarcasm).  Anyway, so we had read some selections from Jonathan Swift in order to analyze the devices of satire.  One such one was "A Modest Proposal" which I'm sure many people have read.  I assigned a project to coincide with the reading where the students had to present their own modest proposal as if it were an idea they were trying to sell.  I had some great (and very funny) projects come out of it.  One student, blamed Hostess desserts for the obesity claiming "obviously it is the fault of the sweets as the poor helpless people simply cannot resist."  I found that so funny I laughed out loud during the presentation.  


Oddly enough, though, as I was doing this unit, I began to notice my own experiences with situational irony in particular.  


DISCLAIMER: In order to protect the identity of students and so as not to be misinterpreted, I will let you know I am going to use the ambiguous pronouns, "they, them, their, etc." in reference to particular students.  Yes, it is incorrect noun/pronoun agreement; however, I am entirely aware of this and do not feel like spending my time thinking about rewording each sentence to avoid saying "he" or "she."


Situation #1 
I have one student who always seems to be uninterested in all things academic.  They do not ever appear engaged no matter what the content is.  Well, I was doing a review of some concepts.  I was trying to get answers out of the students who do not often raise their hands.   I began receiving responses from some of the more reserved ones.  Well, as the momentum was building, more and more hands went up.  Iwas getting excited over responses and I was walking all over the classroom to get answers.  Finally, [begin chariots of fire type music] up in the air flies this students hand.  I have never seem them so eager before.  Eyes that are normally glazed over and staring blankly are bright and alert.  I can't even believe my eyes that this student has their hand up high in the air stretching it in all excitement.  "Yes," I say, "_________ what did you think the answer was?" "Can I go to the bathroom?" Ooooooo...crushed! That moment of anticipation was too good to be true.  Still, I hold out hope that we will have a breakthrough.  Ironic, though, isn't it?


Situation #2
Somehow, a student who never seems to understand what we are going over in class, is amazingly scoring VERY well on quizzes and tests.  This really hasn't been adding up, and it appears as though cheating has been a possibility.  I like to give them the benefit of the doubt and think that perhaps there is a lot of studying going on at home, which is resulting in higher scores.  Well, this week, the quizzes were done orally.  Each student had to answer a question aloud.  When this student was called on to answer, they had no clue at all about what the answer was.  Even given a second chance, they were not able to answer.  Another quiz was given; we have changed the seating chart.  The student they are sitting near now got two answers completely wrong, this student had the same two very wrong answers written down.  BUSTED! Maybe this isn't ironic as it is funny to me.  Yet it still shows that the expectations of this student to do well clashed with reality.


Situation #3
I put the dogs in their crates for the night on Thursday night.  I headed to bed, locked the door, and turned the lights out.  Suddenly, I hear somebody coming up my stairs! I freak out because Lee was in the field and there are two deadbolt locks on both of the doors downstairs.  With one, a key is needed.  The other one is a security lock, and it is impossible to get in with that lock secured.  I always lock the doors.  How is somebody coming up the stairs? I think to myself.  Cautiously, I grab a weapon that Lee leaves at home with me for my security, and I sneak toward the door.  I slowly open the door, and I still am hearing movements.  This is freaking me out because it sounds like somebody is downstairs.  But it also sounds like they are taking no care to even try to be quiet.  Well, as I go down the stairs (gun in hand), I find out I am hearing our neighbors moving about in their house! Oh my!

Chloe

Yesterday, my husband and I went to Petco to pick up some things for Amber, and we picked up something for Amber indeed.  We like to go to Petco better than Petsmart on a Saturday because 1.) Things are cheaper there and you can find good stuff on clearance and 2.) Petco is not flooded with dogs.  Petco has one shelter that brings about 4-5 dogs every Saturday, whereas, Petsmart has 3 shelters come and there are literally dogs everywhere.  It is so loud and chaotic that it gives me a headache.


Anyway, so I was over in the clearance section looking at various items when my husband got my attention and said, "Hey, here's a friend for Amber." I walked over and saw an adorable miniature dachshund.  I wouldn't have paid the dog any mind at first, but I started talking to them about her to find out many good things.  She had a good temperament, she liked children, she liked other dogs, and she was very quiet. So far, the quiet part has been very true.  I don't think she's barked even once!

Her original name that the shelter gave her was Emma, but we didn't want to call her that.  So, we went through several names.  I wanted to call her Snaps because she resembles my sister's pound puppy she's had since she was very small named snaps.  However, come to find out, she had a name.  My husband, for some reason, said "Chloe" and she came running.  Then I said, "Chloe, come" and she came to me.  Every other name we called her resulted in no response.  But Chloe was immediate.  So, either that or something close to it was her name.  Now Amber has a buddy and we hope things will continue to work out as great as they have started!

Collaboration

One thing that I think makes being a teacher easier (besides making a person a better teacher) is collaborating ideas with others.  I have been blessed at every school so far to work with many people who love sharing ideas.  Even now, everyone on the English hall goes around sharing ideas.  A lot of people have great ideas, and the cooperation creates a fantastic environment.  This is probably one of the reasons I like teaching high school.


In fact, I think this is probably the way teamwork should go.  I don't know for sure, but I have spent 3 years on the middle school level where they practice the teaming strategy.  About 4-6 teachers are placed on a team where they have mostly (or all) of the same students, and the idea is that they are to work together in order to best serve the students and provide consistency.  I do think that there has to be a more efficient way to do teaming because I have seen a few recurring issues with it despite how great a team may be. 


 #1 There are always extra meetings when you have a team.  You have to have your department meetings, your regular school meetings, there are (of course) parent/teacher conferences, and then you have to take time to meet as a team.  I have seen a contrast in the amount of time that frees up when you don't have that extra team.


#2 Everybody tries to be almost the same, but really not everyone is the same.  So, somebody doesn't fail a kid in his/her class (even if the child deserves it) because nobody else on that team is.  The teacher starts to wonder if there is something wrong with him/her because he/she is the only one struggling with that student.


#3 Somebody doesn't like the way another person is doing things in their class.  It creates unnecessary tension.  People who should get along start judging each other (for no good reason really).  It's mostly that Mrs. Teacher A is not doing things the way Mrs. Teacher B is doing them and Mrs. Teacher B is not happy with that.  


People cannot possibly all be the same no matter how hard they try.  I have also found that, most of the desired cohesion is maybe more than anybody needs.


Oh, and that does bring me to another point...


#4 Kids LOVE to use it as a tool. Mrs. A let us do it.  So, why can't you, Mrs. B? I like Mrs. A better.  


I think it's good for the students to learn that all teachers are different and just do things different ways and that is okay.  This might be the difference between the ages in middle school and high school.  But I haven't seen it with high schoolers.  They just seem to accept that every teacher is different and they need to adapt to different teachers.


Okay, so with all that said, I DO see SO MANY positive aspects of collaboration...WHEN it is done in the better interest of others.  I'm getting GREAT ideas from other teachers.  And I do believe that this is the teamwork that fuels our energy, frees up our time, and increases our passion for teaching.


I also see the positive aspects of having teams.


#1 Everyone plans a conference together.  No teacher is alone to be targeted and harassed by a parent.  That is a VERY important thing.


#2 It does provide consistency and, if there is a child who needs help, more people are able to get together in order to help that child.


#3 It is a lot easier to plan events and field trips because the students are always going to the same group of teachers.


#4 It can help the school better organize schedules for students.


So, now I seem like I'm contradicting myself, right?


I'm just reflecting on the positive and negative aspects of having a team.


However, MAYBE just MAYBE it isn't so much the mechanism as it is the people and THEIR attitudes.


Because, honestly, I have even seen teachers in department meetings who are supposed to just be sharing ideas turn it negative.  One teacher has an idea and another one says, "Well, I wouldn't do it that way." Why say that? Are you better? Some teachers are not as interested in really getting good ideas as they are in getting recognized for their ideas.  


So maybe, despite what the structure is, the root of the problem is selfishness.  I don't know if that is it for sure.  I'm just reflecting. 


All I know is that I have been working with some great teachers these past 4 years who love sharing ideas.  I have been taking other people's ideas and using them, and other people have been taking mine.  Actually, during my first year of teaching, I created a puzzle for adjectives and nouns.  The students had to put the puzzle together in order to match up the adjective with the noun it was describing.  The next year, I saw my puzzle format (that I drew by hand) being copied and used by a math teacher for math problems! Ha! It does feel good to see an idea like that.  


A great teacher I was fortunate to work with (you know who you are ;) ) Had an idea where students chose books to read.  Then, in final-four format.  They went head-to-head to defend why THEIR book was the best! That was such a great idea.  I am definitely going to use it.  


I knew a teacher who was great at making things artistic.  For example, each student would take a difficult vocabulary word, make a poster about it, and write a paragraph on what the word was about on the back.  She'd cover up their names, put numbers on the posters, and then the students would vote on the most convincing one.  It was a lot of fun.


So, I know this is getting long and I seem to be going nowhere.  I was actually going to write this blog to announce that I am going to be posting teaching ideas on here (my own and that of other teachers) for all of you to read and comment on.  Because even a GREAT idea can be made better.  Sometimes somebody can pick up on one little thing and help the lesson tremendously.


I somehow felt compelled to write about collaboration in general.  But ANYWAY, I am going to start posting a variety of ideas on here.   And I'm excited to see what other people can add.


:)

I said DOCTOR, ain't there nothin' I can take?

Late Saturday night, I felt a sharp cramp or pain in my lower right side.  It alarmed me a little, but I figured that if it just went away, I wouldn't worry about it.  Well, it did go away.....only to come back Sunday evening at around 5:30 p.m. and then persist.  I wasn't sure what I should do because it was a Sunday evening and the only thing open would be an emergency room.  It wasn't exactly as much of an emergency as it was discomfort combined with the fact that my temperature was going up quickly.  I didn't want to have to miss work, and it was early enough to get into the ER (plus we were kind of worried it could be a bigger deal if it came back stronger).  So, I decided I might as well go to the ER and see what was going on.

I'd been having symptoms for awhile of nausea, fatigue, shortness of breath, elevated temperatures, and now a sharp pain in my right side.  I went in, told them what was going on.  Of course, they tested for pregnancy only to have it come up negative.  I was taken back where a somewhat absent-minded doctor began questioning me.  He was having trouble holding onto the facts I was giving him, but was SURE I wasn't pregnant.  Well, GOOD...that's GREAT! I don't care about that anymore.  Let's find out what was going on.  But the problem was that once he decided I wasn't pregnant, it was like he didn't care anymore.  

He came in nonchalantly and said, "I'm going to have a CT scan done in case it is something more serious, but I doubt it is."  Then, in his own medical terms, he basically told me he thought I just had gas.  Now, I know gas is painful and I have had gas before but it has not been concentrated in one exact location where I feel like something is squeezing me.

Well, he had the CT scan done.  Again, he rolled in as carefree as could be and said, "Well, there appears to be nothing wrong with your appendix, liver, kidney, or other major organs.  There is what appears to be a partially collapsed cyst or follicle on the right ovary (which, oddly enough, was exactly where I was feeling the pain).  So, I'm going to treat you for constipation."

WHAT? Wait a minute, what does constipation have to do with a cyst? I am not constipated.  I don't have gas.  But I'm being given all kinds of treatment for constipation.  I honestly felt more competent in my own hands than in that doctor's.

However, before he could leave, my husband asked the doctor if all of the symptoms I was having could at all be related to an ovarian cyst.  He answered, "I don't know.  You'd have to ask the ob/gyn." Well, we went home and found out ourselves that an ovarian cyst could very much cause those symptoms.  

Great, basically 5 hours were wasted at the ER to find out I'd have to go back to the doctor the next day to find out what was really going on.  So, I took the day off of work to schedule a doctor appointment with somebody who could maybe give me a clear answer.  Fortunately, the next doctor wasn't as clueless about the whole thing.  And, after pulling up the medical record from the ER (this is the army medical so it's all in the same database), decided that, yes, the problem was more likely an ovarian cyst, and constipation wasn't even a consideration.    

After his examination, he ordered an ultrasound to be done to see what exactly was going on.  I went in for my ultrasound today and will not have any answers until Friday.  But after looking at the pictures and then researching online, it appears to me that I have one huge cyst.  I could be wrong.  We'll see.  But next time I need some medical advice on a weekend, I think I'll stick to Web Md unless my arm is chopped off or something.

Going with my Instincts

I hate to see a student look completely and entirely uninterested in what is going on in class.  For the past few years, I've held back from saying and doing anything because of fear.  I'm afraid the other teachers will judge me and think I'm just wasting my time on a lost cause.  I'm afraid the student won't care and my effort to reach out will have been an exercise in futility.  I'm also afraid that I'm really not doing any good by caring anyway.  Am I really making a difference?  At the end of the day, does my caring result in increased motivation or quality work?  


I don't know why I've changed starting this school year, but I just have in an enormous way.  I just care! I want so badly for these kids to see how they can improve their lives by learning.  I want to show them how complex most of the things they do on a regular basis are and that it isn't that hard.  


In one class I'm teaching, there is a student who is always there but not really there.  He just doesn't seem to care about anything at all.  I feel like a broken record telling him over and over again, "sit up," "pay attention," "pick your head up."  And I'm not getting anywhere just saying those things.  I'm not treating the cause; I'm only trying to do away with the symptoms.


So, I couldn't help it any longer.  Yesterday, I pulled him into the hallway and spoke with him.  I said, "I want so badly for you to do well.  I want you to feel interested in being here.  I also want you to succeed." Then I asked him, "Do you want to pass? Why do you seem so uninterested in everything?" He answered, "I do want to pass.  I don't want to go through the same class all over again.  It's just that I work every day right after school until late at night.  I'm so tired."  I asked him if he has time off.  He said one day a week.  It is so hard to say anything about that.  He needs to learn, so how is he going to do it?


I don't know yet.  I don't know what to do yet.  But at the very least, he knows and understands that I really care.  And I think he also really cares it's just figuring out how to get past a difficult hurdle now.

Winnie the Pooh on a Blustery Day

Running frantically around the house on Monday morning, I was feeling a mess.  First of all, I was having some nausea, fatigue (from lack of sleep), and general frustration in the fact that I wasn't ready to go spend 8 hours of my life at school.  And, though this goes against the core of my practice, I firmly believe school is the most inefficient use of time during a day.


Within a 90-minute block, you will, in fact, capture the full attention of the students for maybe a total of 45 real minutes (if that).  Other than that, you are spending time trying to figure out how to keep things interesting and engaging without having them just sit there and finish work with the extra time.  Yes, let's admit it, that's what we end up doing.  Because we don't have any other use for the time.  In one sense, this is good for those students who wouldn't get the work done at home; however, it seems that it is too much time even for them.


The question I have been asking is WHY DO WE HAVE TO SPEND 8 hours at school to consider it an effective school day?  I could teach a student the same thing in 20-30 minutes time that I stretch out over 60-90 minutes.  I am not against having kids go to school, but I am just saying that the majority of the time spent there is done daydreaming and socializing (and attempting to socialize when they're not supposed to).


Even during the orientations I've gone to, I've been reminded of how dreadful it is to be in school and be shuffled from room to room as you are forced to have information packed into you.  On one such orientation, by the time I went to my 6th hour-long session of the day, I'd entirely forgotten what I was supposed to have learned in the first session.  No matter how exciting, entertaining, or engaging some of the sessions were, the wear of the information overload of the day caused most of it to become a vague memory (if there was any memory at all).


So, as I pulled myself together for school on Monday, my mind was buzzing with thoughts of what a waste it is to go to school.  I love my job and my school. I just never have (and still do not) see the point of spending such massive amounts of time there.  And we wonder why our first period class has such trouble recollecting what we reviewed the previous day.


As a child in elementary school, I daydreamed of becoming a principal and instating a rule that all children must have rocket ships to sit in so that they can be comfortable and happy whilst working.  I couldn't wait to make a change.  And, though I am much more grounded in reality than designing rocket ship seats for children, that is still why I want to teach.


I have told other teachers before that I do not like school.  It baffles them entirely.  One teacher once said to me, "I love school! That's why I'm here! How can you be a teacher and not like school?"


How?


Well, here's how.


I like kids, students, pupils (call them what you will).  And I like empowering them for life.  I like showing them how learning things can help them in life.  No matter how much I might not enjoy difficult students, my mind thrives on the challenge of analyzing the inner workings of their minds.  


So, when I get up in the morning, I am Winnie the Pooh on a Blustery Day.  The forces of nature are against me, and I must do everything in my power to keep Piglet under control and from being blown away or overwhelmed by it all.  

Tigger might be bouncing off the walls, and Eeyore will inevitably come in with a bad attitude.


And, though I don't care for that wind working constantly against me, it is my job to round everybody up and make the best of it.....Even if I did forget my pants.

Forgiveness

What exactly is forgiveness?  Do we know?  We like the idea of forgiving because somewhere we know that we want to be forgiven ourselves.  However, I have come to conclude that forgiveness is completely counterintuitive.  I am writing on this because it seems to be acting as a recurring theme for me right now.  I have been around some unforgiving people; I have seen it on television; I have reflected and seen it in myself.


In premarital counseling, our pastor told my husband and myself that if (when) one of us wrongs the other and we choose to forgive, that the subject must never be brought up again.  It is forgiven.  It is gone.  And I know that I would want him to not hold my daily mistakes against me.  Yet, I find myself frustrated with something he does and I don't WANT to let it go.  Please don't misinterpret this as marriage troubles.  This is just common stuff from living with another person.  I do just as many things as he does that I could do better not to do, but I know there are just little things I want to "fix" every now and then. 


Ephesians 4:32 is one of many famous verses discussing this topic saying "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other."  And there are numerous other verses that say "forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another."  Because that is what binds people together in love and unity.  Unforgiveness   divides people and only creates a hardened and bitter heart.


I can't really explain why I am writing on this right now except to say that I am finding myself frustrated with unforgiveness.   In fact, it is to the point that not forgiving somebody to me seems like an uglier and greater offense than the original wrong that was done.  It is as if we are trying to be even and in doing so we turn ourselves into something useless.  What good are we to others if we are just going to be angry? I cannot produce much when my heart is harboring bitterness and anger.  Because then I am only worrying about myself and how I feel.


There are numerous things that I could find to be angry about every day.  On Monday, there was traffic backed up so far that it took me 30 minutes to go 3 miles.  I was annoyed to say the least.  I especially get upset when I get treated in a way that I feel I don't deserve.  I could be completely nice and caring toward somebody and yet they throw back insults at me.  Or they don't reciprocate the same things to me that I would like to receive in return for kindness.  What is that, though? That is anger and bitterness.  None of that is needed.  It is like allowing weeds to grow in a flower garden.  Why let it happen?  It will choke out the abundance of crop that there is.


But forgiveness is counterintuitive as I said before.  At least, I believe that true forgiveness is.  It requires vulnerability and humility.  It demands forgetting about yourself.  We feel that if we put ourselves in that position we will be hurt.  If I just let go, it will be like a boomerang and whatever I let go of will come back and hit me in full force.  Okay?  So, what if it does?  Will that be worse than the anger and resentment that the heart is suffering from? 


I have to literally lay my life down in order to truly forgive.  The thing is that there is something so freeing about forgiveness when it does occur.  We become stronger through forgiveness than through bitterness.  We empower others to feel encouraged.  Our lives are a fertile ground that can be harvested to help others...not a weed patch overgrown with our own frustrations.