Sometimes...

This is just a quick blog about sleep.  I was going to write one as an update on my last blog about sleep.  However, I've decided I really only have a few short things to say.  First of all I did start having Gordon Lee sleep separately in his pack and play bassinet for many reasons...he and I were both losing way too much sleep, I couldn't get up out of the bed without waking him (that means I couldn't even go to the bathroom at night), his naps during the day kept getting shorter, etc. Also, I have to admit, he was around me so much I was actually starting to resent him sometimes when he needed me...that sounds bad and I hate admitting it, but it was the case. Moving him out of the bed at night helped a TON! So, I thought maybe I should just go cold turkey and get him used to sleeping by himself at all times.  He did surprisingly well and even slept 7 1/2 hours one night!


Anyway, after trying strategies from the book I've been reading and seeing them work...I have STILL come to these conclusions.

• I was talking to my mom the other day who said she hadn't slept well.  I think babies, like us, just have some nights when they don't sleep well...no matter how good of a nap they had during the day or how well you followed through with a bed time routine.  Sometimes, we just don't sleep well for whatever reason.
• I think sometimes babies do need help getting to sleep.  The book I was reading said rocking, giving a bottle, or finding some other way to help the baby get to sleep can make it hard for the baby to fall asleep on his or her own.  And I get that, but I still think he needs help sometimes.  If his tummy hurts from gas, he doesn't know how to just put himself to sleep.
• Sometimes there's no rule that just works or doesn't.  Sometimes you have to go with what you feel is right.

A Day at the Spa

For the past week or so, I have been slightly under the weather.  I think allergies are to blame as I seem to get the same symptoms in the same order whenever my allergies start--sore throat that lasts for about 1-2 days, throat suddenly clears up, onset of congestion that will make me completely miserable without allergy medicine.  However, I'm not entirely sure it was allergies this time.  Maybe it was a cold as Gordon Lee seemed to have started to get a little congested himself! Poor little guy!


He wasn't that bad off, but yesterday morning he seemed to wake up crankier than usual and I could tell by his breathing he was congested.  Anyway, I'd been doing a few things to help ease his congestion--it's hard with a baby because you can't give them anything and you have to suck their drainage out with a bulb.  But I had put him down for a morning nap, gotten out of the shower, only to find him crying as he'd woken up just a few short minutes later.  I think the congestion was to blame.


It was a dreary, overcast day outside and I was feeling a bit sleepy myself.  At first, I was going to try to get a lot of chores done yesterday...the dishes needed to be done; laundry also needed to be done; laundry that was already done needed to be folded and put away; I wanted to vacuum..you get the point.  But when I got out of the shower I rushed right to my sweet little crying baby, let him eat, and then I wrapped him up in my robe.  


When he was a brand new newborn, he would sleep on our chests gladly.  But as soon as he started learning to pick his head up, sleeping on somebody's chest slowly became a thing of the past as he would just push up (even swaddled) to pick his little head up.  Yesterday, though, I really don't think he was feeling too good as he just settled in being wrapped in my robe.  I walked around the house holding him wrapped up as he fell asleep peacefully.


And I decided to just sit at an angle in bed with him wrapped up.  Sitting there, I felt so peaceful like I was spending a day at the spa! In fact, a day at the spa wouldn't have even given me the refreshment and joy I felt. I thought to myself..the chores can wait.  There is nothing like moments like this one.  And I truly felt some sort of positive hormones flowing through me...a wave of serenity and bliss.  So, I spent most of the day yesterday just cuddling my baby and not worrying about doing anything else.  Even the blog I posted had been written the night before.  I added a few sentences and posted it.  


And people might think I'm crazy for believing this, but I truly think it helped him and me get better!  I am feeling MUCH better than I did, and he seems to feel a lot better as well.  He has been very cheerful today and his breathing sounds much better.  Maybe that was all we both needed.

High School

I received a text message from my friend Kelly this morning asking me if I'd received the invitation to our school's 20th reunion this coming weekend.  This would actually be our class's 10 year reunion; however, I think they've just decided to use the 20th reunion as a way to get together.  Either way, I can't go because my sister is coming to visit me this weekend.  I had received the invitation but I must have thrown it away knowing I wouldn't be going.


Anyway, all of that is simply background information for this blog.  Thinking about the reunion got me to reminiscing about high school in general.  I have former students who I keep in touch with via Facebook who are now in high school.  When I see their status updates about various things going on, I do not miss high school AT ALL.


I have always been different.  In pre-kindergarten and kindergarten, I spent recess walking backwards around the perimeter of the parking lot we were given as a play space.  Sometimes, I'd play games with people if invited.  But I never initiated or really even cared.  I was perfectly happy to walk backwards laps all recess long.  In early elementary school, I often spent recess sitting on the ground picking up rocks because that's what I thought was fun.  I also went around naming butterflies with my friend in 2nd grade (I did socialize occasionally) and got into a fight with another girl who told us we couldn't name them because they weren't the same butterflies.  I think we even got sent to the principal's office over this fight...enough said.


Then, in upper elementary school, I remember some boy sticking up for me because some girl said I was "weird." I appreciated that he seemed to care, but I had never really even thought of myself as weird or different.  All of that time, I had just been me in my own way and hadn't a care in the world of what anyone else thought about it.  I enjoyed my life.  I was happy.


In middle school, that changed even more.  People start caring more about what other people think and choosing to point it out to you if they think you are different.  Why it matters I do not know.  But they suddenly not only care about what others think of them but they have some need to try to make you conform.  So I started losing who I was.  I started caring.


High school wasn't much different.  I think I became even more of a mess because I was so busy trying to be a certain way instead of just being me that I was probably even weirder than I normally would have been.  I sort of started to go back to my normal self my senior year.  I met my best friend Lea who shared so many of the same things I enjoyed that people would raise their eyebrows at.  We would scream with excitement over a card game called chicken cube.  We placed all the cards face down, name a card (say 2 of hearts) and take turns picking cards.  Whoever picked the card first won.  Sadly we had a hard time winning anyone over to the game except kids.


But that's the thing, there is something in us that is beautiful that we lose.  After high school, I slowly (and I mean VERY slowly) started to realize other people were just as "different" as I was.  I made more friends who didn't care, and I really began to be myself again.  Part of it was finding friends who accepted me for me and didn't care if something I liked was strange to them. Part of it was me learning to say, "I am who I am, you can take it or leave it."


I met my husband who accepts me just the way I am....someone who loves birdwatching, telling cheesy jokes, whatever else would be considered odd by some people.  After teaching, I've seen many students become lost to what they think other people want them to be.  I see sixth graders start middle school one way and leave completely different.  And this isn't because they really wanted that to begin with; they just started to become overly self-aware looking for somewhere to fit in.


It's fun watching children because most of the time they are so carefree, happy to be in their world, and often very accepting of each other.  Again, I said most of the time.  Some kids are bullies from the beginning; however, the majority of children I see are not that way.  Perhaps we should all be a little more like children...not pick your nose in public shamelessly like children...but happy to be the people we are and willing to accept we can be just fine with that in and of ourselves.

What is Happening?

After having taught in various schools, states, grade levels, etc., one thing that baffles me is an increase in students who either cannot read or struggle to read.  I personally believe that, regardless of IQ, most humans will learn what they can or need to in order to survive.  There are basic things we learn...walking, talking, etc. without having to be taught because our brains know that we need to do these things to have an easier life.  I kind of see reading in that category.

How do you get by without being able to read? How do you sign a contract? Or do you just not know what you're signing--pretty scary.  How do you drive, shop, do anything without being able to read?

Yet, I keep seeing it over and over again.  I was first surprised when I met students who had made it all the way to the 6th grade without being able to read.  I had a student who couldn't spell the word cat.  I'm not mocking this student's intelligence.  In fact, I fully believed in this student's ability.  But somehow just reading words was a challenge.  What happened? Was somebody not there?

At this same school, they were concerned about this increasing problem with reading.  So, there was a reading program put in place and we were all mandated to use it.  All it consisted of was reading all block long for 90 minutes.  You read to students for 20 minutes, do an activity, have the students read from a personally selected book for 20 minutes, do an activity, and then have them read a class novel for 20 more minutes and do an activity.  It was redundant and what myself and many of my colleagues discovered was that it was turning our students off when it came to reading.  They were also being required to read every night and turn in a reading log (seriously, how many do you think were even being honest about that?).  They were in reading overload.  I tried to change it up and make things interesting.  However, I was instructed I was not to deviate from the model at all...because it supposedly worked.  I never saw it do anything but make the students hate reading.  If a student can't read, making them read more isn't going to help.

I then worked with students at another school with a language program that was pretty successful in teaching reading.  I worked with the county's reading specialist personally on this program, and we really saw our students learning to read better.  But it still stumped me how so many students made it all the way to the 6th grade (the one I was teaching at the time) without being able to read...and many of them not even caring to learn.  

I can understand being frustrated because the way somebody is teaching something to you isn't working for you.  But, personally, if I struggled to learn something that I needed to know to get by in life, I'd look for any way to learn it that I could find.  

I just really don't get it.  Am I missing something about society today (I'm serious here)? Is it becoming more possible to live life without needing to read? I just don't know how I could do it.  I'm not even talking about having a college reading level --just at least being able to read period.  

I sort of rationalized a 6th grader not being able to read because they are still depending on adults for most things.  But it really floored me when I came across 12th graders who were unable to read and totally disinterested in learning how.  I was truly scared for those students because if they can't read by the end of their high school career, where are they going to go? What are they going to do? 

That's all there is to this post.  After working at various schools and brainstorming ways to encourage reading, I see no difference.  Those people who want to read will read and those who don't won't.  This isn't mean to be pessimistic--just realistic.  My goal as a teacher has become to show students how learning makes life easier.  But I think something is changing in society.  I'm not sure what it is...maybe it's text language, more media, technology...but each year fewer students are able to read.  And I really think that's a skill you can't live without.

How Hard Can It Be?

This Thursday, for my "what I've learned" post, I am going to attempt to explain two things that can be kind of hard to understand before you have children.  I often need a clear picture of something to understand it.  And if anyone reading is anything like me, hopefully this post is helpful.


SLEEP
I know that I am not the only person who wondered about sleep before having a baby.  You hear it a lot when you're pregnant, "Get sleep now because you won't get it later"... (as if sleep is just something you can store up on and go into your storage unit to pull out when you need it later).  The point is that it often doesn't make sense before you have children how hard it is to get sleep.  I mean, the baby sleeps A LOT, right? Young babies sleep at least 15 hours out of the day.  So, just sleep when the baby sleeps and you shouldn't be short on it.


Here's the hold up and why, for me personally, sleep has been so hard to come by.  Imagine settling in to your warm, cozy bed.  Your eyelids are heavy and you just can't wait to sink into bed for a peaceful night's sleep.  You've entered the euphoric state of dreamland feeling blissful when suddenly..an alarm clock goes off out of nowhere.  It won't go off on it's own, so you have to get up and turn it off.  But it can take thirty minutes or more to turn it off.


When you go back to bed, you've now been startled out of your peaceful state.  And you don't feel like you can go back to sleep because what if that alarm goes off again? Something in the back of your mind is constantly thinking about that alarm and can't stop.  So, you really cannot mentally relax fully; thus, what sleep you do get is not that refreshing.


Before the first day of school, most teachers can't sleep.  There is too much excitement or anticipation for what the day will hold.  I'm sure the same is true before starting a new job, going to an interview the next day, etc.  Just imagine always feeling like that every night.  That is exactly why I have found sleeping is so hard with a baby.  My mind will not stop thinking about him (which is a good thing).  Even when somebody else is watching my baby and I KNOW he is in good hands, I still have "what if it needs me?" playing in the back of my mind.  


Plus, it would be fabulous if I was rich enough to have a maid, nanny, housekeeper, etc. so I really could sleep whenever the baby slept.  But, sadly, I am a commoner and my house would be in total disarray if I slept whenever he slept.  Plus, I'd never get a shower or eat.   So, just in case anyone else was wondering what makes sleeping so hard when you have a young baby who sleeps a lot, maybe that helped make sense of it.  I know I would have appreciated an explanation beforehand. :)


I don't mean to make it sound like a burden--it's just one of the ways life has changed for me since having a baby.  


GETTING OUT


You hear about parents who talk about having a hard time getting out of the door with little ones.  Again, this is one of those things that might seem like it would be pretty simple.  Grab the baby and go, right?


Well, I'll spell out a typical day for me trying to get out of the door with the baby


1.) Feed the baby, burp the baby, feed the baby, burp the baby (takes somewhere from 20-30 minutes and even longer with a brand new baby)
2.) 5 minutes later...EXPLOSION...change the baby
3.) Is the diaper bag together? Do I have wipes, a change of clothes, diapers, etc?
4.) Put the baby in his car seat...dang it...he just spit up everywhere
5.) Change his clothes
6.) Since he just spit up, he's hungry again
7.) Feed the baby again
8.) Put the baby back in the carseat, grab my purse, grab my keys, grab the diaper bag
9.) Out the door..Who knows what time this would be, but I have to make it back by nap time or else I will have one cranky baby on my hands.


And this is on a day when perhaps he isn't all that fussy.  Those days, we just aren't going anywhere because he will scream no matter where we go.


You do learn a thing or two about preparedness to make it easier to get out of the door.  But one thing I've learned is that babies are unpredictable and sometimes you just can't be fully prepared.  


BUT I wouldn't trade seeing his sweet little face every day for anything in the world!

Another Sleep Update

While I was up visiting my family, I let Gordon Lee get a little spoiled.  I just didn't feel like going to the trouble of having him sleep by himself because I'd have to keep running up and down the stairs.  I'd tried it for one day but when he woke up to unfamiliar surroundings, he wasn't going back to sleep.  So, I just let him fall asleep in my arms, his carseat, or somewhere he found comfortable.  


But I knew when we came back that I wanted to go back to getting him to nap in his crib.  So, I tried going back to that.  He has taken 1-2 naps in there every day.  And I wanted to post some things about his napping and also ask some questions in case anybody reading might have some information for me.


First of all, the book I was reading said to lay him down when he is sleepy but not yet asleep.  I hadn't really been doing that previously because I found that if I laid him down in any state other than completely asleep, he'd be jolted awake and it would take that much longer to calm him down again.  But yesterday, I just figured I'd try it and see what happened.  Well, he fell asleep! I was so excited.  He slept for about 45 minutes until he woke up for some reason.  I wasn't able to get him to go back to sleep to finish that nap, but I did get him to take another nap for about 30 minutes.


Today, I tried something even different.  I just laid him down in his crib when he was wide awake after a morning feeding.  I turned his lullaby and turtle lamp on and walked out of the room.  The only reason I did this was because I am starting to feel sick and I just needed a break to take care of myself.  Well, much to my surprise (and excitement), he fussed a little and then just fell asleep! I don't know how long he slept because when I got out of the shower he was crying.  However, I know he slept at least 30 minutes because it was that long before I got in the shower.  Once again, I wasn't really able to get him to go back to sleep after he had woken up.  I put him in the baby bjorn and did chores while he watched.


Then, I put him down for another nap that lasted about 25 minutes.  By the time I got in there (which was just seconds after I heard him crying), he was screaming with his hands clenched across his chest.




Now....here come some questions or things I'm currently unsure about


1.) Gordon Lee sleeps next to me at night.  This started out with a growth spurt that had him feeding all night one night.  And then, I discovered he slept better with us than on his own.  So, I let him keep sleeping with me.
I'm starting to think this wasn't such a good move because I think I've trained him to believe he can't sleep unless he is next to me.


2.) I'm not sure if his shorter sleeping periods are actually coming from something that is hurting him and causing him to wake up.  After I got him up from his most recent nap, he stopped crying when I picked him up and carried him around.  


So, I'm really stumped here as to what to do.  If I keep letting him sleep with me, I could be just making it harder for him to sleep on his own--and I really need him to do that for my well-being.  If something is physically hurting him making naps harder, I do want to be able to comfort him so he can sleep. Any comments, ideas or suggestions are welcome.

Baking with Baby

With the approach of October yesterday, I had the urge to bake.  I wanted to make something that would go with the season, of course.  So, I called my mother to see if she had any good recipes.  After going through options like cookies, pies, etc., pumpkin bread seemed the most enticing!

I decided that I would make a loaf today while little Gordon Lee took his nap.  After filling up his tummy and putting him down for a nap, I went to get ready to make my pumpkin bread.  Unfortunately, after only about 5 minutes of sleeping, he ended up having an explosion in his pants that startled him awake.  Daddy graciously changed his diaper and tried to put him back down for a nap, but it wasn't working.

My baby only enjoyed being carried around in a sling or carrier for about a month until he would pitch a fit any time I tried to strap him to me.  I'm sure one of the reasons had to do with how hot it is down here and it isn't fun being strapped to someone when it is hot.  Yet, another reason (that my dad just happened to discover) for him disliking slings and carriers was that he wanted to face OUT.  Since he was too small at the time for this to happen, my dad improvised his own sling.

(a t-shirt turned baby carrier--inventive)

Gordon Lee was a huge fan as he could be toted around while facing outward.  Well, I decided that just MAYBE he might be big enough to face out.  As it turns out, I was able to adjust the baby bjorn for him to face out today!  

Ahh...fantastic! I could put him in there and still make my pumpkin bread.  Well, it was absolutely a success!

He started out alert and very excited to look at everything that was going on! He enjoyed watching me get the ingredients out, pour them together, etc.  There were a few areas, however, that required assistance.  The first challenge was breaking eggs.  I couldn't see my hands very well, so my husband came in and intervened turning the baking into a family affair! I'd originally just planned on calling him in there when it was time to put the bread in or take it out (since I wouldn't dare get the baby near the oven!) But there we all were making pumpkin bread together.  

Gordon Lee had such a great time that the excitement got to him and nap time set in.

Ahhhh beautiful! We were able to get something fun done and work the nap in at the same time! 

As for the bread, I haven't tried it yet.  But even if it isn't any good, a great time was still had by all. 

The bread looks good and if anyone wants to make it, here's the recipe!

(I apologize for the poor picture quality.  I had to take these with my phone as my husband needed the camera at work)

This recipe makes 2 loaves.

Grease 2 loaf pans and  pre-heat oven to 350.

 

3 cups sugar (or splenda)

1 cup vegetable  oil (or use applesauce)

4 beaten eggs

1 can (16 oz.) pumpkin

1 teasp. Baking powder

3 ½ cups all purpose flour

2 teasp. salt

2 teasp. Baking soda

½ teasp. ground cloves

1 teasp. Cinnamon

1 teasp. Nutmeg

1 teasp. Allspice

2/3 cup water 1 cup pecans or walnut pieces (optional)

 

Combine sugar, oil (or applesauce) and eggs, beat until light and fluffy.

Stir in pumpkin. Combine all the dry ingredients and stir into the pumpkin mixture. Add water and nuts. Mixing well.

 Bake at  preheated oven 350 degrees for 65 minutes. When using splenda, check about 5-10 minutes earlier.