Secret Readers

There are several people who I know follow my blog and read it on a regular basis.  Usually, I get comments, messages, etc. from them either on each blog or on one every now and then.  But it has come to my attention, that there are several "secret readers" out there.  Yes, they are those people who are not listed as following my blog nor do they leave comments on the blog or Facebook.  And it doesn't cease to surprise me when I find out about one of these secret readers.  Sometimes, somebody will mention to me on the phone "oh I was reading your blog..." or somebody else will tell me that someone else was reading.  


I am flattered that my blog is enjoyable that there are as many people out there reading it  as there are.  So, if you are one of those secret readers, thanks for reading.  I somehow feel the need to write on a variety of more interesting topics now.

Planet of the Apes

Now that I have been given permission to start exercising again, I am wanting to kick it into overdrive.  I cannot even begin to explain how depressed I get at the state my body has been left in post pregnancy.  A lot of this is my fault anyway because I should have been in better shape BEFORE I got pregnant and not caved to so many cravings I had during pregnancy. 


Anyway, during the pregnancy, I was working out and it was so hard.  I mean, you can't help but gain weight.  So, it just gets harder and harder to exercise.  I figured that it would be easier to exercise post pregnancy because at least then I wouldn't be gaining weight each time I worked out.  And I could actually feel like I was working towards something instead of against it.


Well, I only just started working out yesterday.  I am SUPER motivated because I cannot stand the condition I am in now.  I am completely driven to work hard.  My husband and I have worked out a nice deal that I will head to the gym when he gets home from work.  It's nice.  I get to burn off some extra energy and I only take about an hour.  


So, I'm starting out doing a lot of strength training.  And I completely shocked myself yesterday with how LITTLE I was actually able to do (only more motivation for me to keep at it at this point).  I struggled to lift half the weight I used to and my legs felt like jello walking out of the gym.  


I went back today to work on upper body only to discover that I am completely intimidated by the men at Gold's Gym.  At any gym, the men dominate the free weights as though that is their territory and some never work out anywhere else.  However, Gold's Gym (at least the one here) seems very much different.  The free weights are swarmed with men strutting around in their he-manness (yes I'm aware that's not a word).  And while I should be seeing this.

I'm seeing something more like this.

I get this whole "My Territory: Keep Out Because I Have Big Muscles" vibe--whether that is real or imagined.  And I get the feeling all of the other women at the gym feel that way as well.  Because I haven't seen even one woman over there..not one.  

When I used to work out at the YMCA, the majority of the people in the free weights was also the male population.  However, they didn't seem to clog it up and strut around as if they owned it.  And there were always a few women over there.

And, of course, I feel like you can tell my looking at me that I clearly have not been working out and I just "don't belong."  So, I resigned myself to the "women's" weight lifting machines tonight because I felt that was where I felt the least intimidated.  But I know I'd get a better work out with the free weights.  

I'm thinking I will just have to get over my whole intimidation (I'm even afraid to look at them) of these men who look like they could bulldoze a bus with their bare hands...and step in there, pick up my 12 lb dumbbells and do what I need to do.  

Letting Sleeping Babies Lie

Continuing with my series of things that I didn't really discover until after Gordon Lee got here, my topic for this week is SLEEP.


I knew I'd lose sleep.  I expected to have to get up with him during the night.  But what I did NOT expect was that it would be so hard to get him to sleep this early.  For about one blessed month, he slept a lot.  It didn't matter what was going on or where he was.  If he was tired, he'd just sleep anywhere and for as long as he wanted.

Well, now that we're rounding out the 2nd month, that is no longer the case.  Getting him to sleep is not so hard.  He can be rocked to sleep.  He'll fall asleep after eating.  It's actually getting him to STAY asleep that is the challenge.  Anything and everything wakes him up from his sleep.  He wakes up for every little noise.  He wakes up if he farts, pees, poops, etc.  You get the picture.

Now it's not that I didn't expect these things to happen at some point.  I just really didn't think they'd happen so early.  I figured that young babies have a much easier time sleeping (and I'm sure they still do).  So, I've tried many ways to get him to stay asleep.  The one place where he will sleep for the longest is his carseat.

I think he stays asleep in the car seat because it is snug and he feels like he is being held.  When he starts waking up a little bit, rocking the carseat gently gets him to go back to sleep until he is in the deep sleep he needs to be in for refreshment.

BUT I don't want him sleeping in his car seat because he has got to learn to sleep elsewhere.  So, this week, I started trying him out in his crib for naps.  Thanks to some very helpful advice, he has taken a few decent naps in his crib.  It is still a challenge, though, because if he does start to wake up, you can't just gently rock the crib.  And even rocking him gently in the crib does nothing to get him to go back to sleep.  


He's gotten very attached to nursing as his method of going to sleep.  He's like a little addict.  He will fall asleep nursing and if he wakes up to find his milk source is gone, he gets very upset.  I felt like I needed to break him of these habits quickly because I can foresee a real problem developing if I let them continue.

While he was napping this morning, I took some time to read The No-Cry Sleep Solution, which I happened to have on hand.  The lady who wrote the book experienced the same issues with her son that I am seeing in Gordon Lee.  At first, I thought he wasn't sleeping well due to some problem that made him not feel well.


But when I noticed that he was sleeping just fine in my arms, next to me, or in his car seat, I realized his problem was becoming that he thought he needed to nurse, be held, or be rocked in order to sleep.


So, this week, he's getting weaned to his crib.  In the book, she does say it is okay to give the baby a little bit of what he/she wants and then put him/her down.  But the baby has to learn to sleep without all those extra things.


So, so far, I've had to go to Gordon Lee quite a few times to settle him down and get him to sleep.  But we are getting there.  He is sleeping a little bit more in his crib each day.  Today he took one 2-hour nap in there, and we are working on getting him to take a second nap right now.  I will have to post updates on how we're doing, but I am going to keep at it in hopes that he can start learning to sleep "on his own."

Soothing a Baby in Under 1 Minute?

After hearing several people refer to "The Happiest Baby on the Block" books and dvds as a necessity, I finally decided to look into it.  I was definitely a skeptic; I am not sure why.  I suppose I just feel reticent to ideas that people say will work "across the board."


But now that I have tried it, I am a believer!


First, Dr. Harvey Karp has 5 S's to success in calming any baby down who is crying/screaming.  In this video, he does explain that if the baby is really in pain this won't work.  But the thing is babies often cry like they are in pain.  So, it can be hard to tell sometimes what the reason for the baby's crying is.  Gordon Lee loves to let his annoyances with life be known. ;) He cries when he has to poop, he cries when he is not near mommy, he cries when hungry, wet, you name it, he gets upset.  So, it's even trickier figuring out with him what the purpose of his crying is.  


Dr. Karp's 5 S's are
1.) Swaddle
2.) Side/Stomach position
3.) Shushing
4.) Swinging
5.) Sucking


As I said, I was a skeptic, so I decided to look for a "sample" of this dvd on youtube.  I came across the following video where he is seen at work with babies and explaining his concepts.  It is very interesting!

Literally, just a few minutes after I finished watching this video, I heard Gordon Lee starting to work up to a fit in his crib after napping for only 30 minutes.  Wanting to test out the theory, I followed the 5 S's and INCREDIBLY he was calm in under 1 minute!
Don't believe me? Here's the proof!

He has been like this for an hour now.

Previously, I would have swaddled him, rocked him a little until he started to calm down some, place him back in his crib only to have him burst out of the swaddle and start up again.  Or, he'd be sucking at his fists, nurse, want to nurse some more, and still stay awake.  

This time, I went in, swaddled him (as I normally had before), turned him on his side in my arm, swung him gently just like in the video, while shushing near his ear, and he was calm instantly.  I offered him his soothie to suck on, but he didn't even want or need it.  He was right back to sleep and has stayed that way.  

I cannot even explain how many other methods of soothing I have tried only to find this one work quickly and continue working! Everything else that calms him down initially becomes ineffective a few minutes later.  But, as he said, all of these things are common.  It is just the order and the way they are done that make the difference.  I certainly agree now.  I will keep trying these things and I may be tempted to check out his book or dvd.

After the Fact

I had written back in another blog that I was going to try to write a blog each week about something that I hadn't thought of or expected before the baby got here.  However, I was delinquent last week as my little one was wanting some extra attention.  But now, I am getting around to the next topic! 


The hormonal and emotional experiences after the baby arrives are hard to describe and something that hadn't crossed my mind much.  Yes, I'd heard of postpartum depression, the "baby blues," etc. and I was prepared to deal with that if possible.  However, even without those things, there are other hormonal and emotional experiences that do not happen until the baby arrives.


1.) Bonded by Crying?
The first night after Gordon Lee arrived up through the first week, his crying actually had a physical impact on me.  I had NO idea this would happen and it was actually quite an incredible experience.  Every time he cried at night, I literally felt as though there was a cord connected from me to him and it pulled at me when he cried.  I actually could not just listen to him cry because my body physically would not let me do it! It is the strangest feeling, and even the description I'm giving isn't enough.  However, it was truly remarkable and unexpected to feel a "pull" when he cried.  This did go away.  But I suppose we are made this way for a reason!


2.) My Baby is the Only One
One night, when Gordon Lee was about 2 weeks old, he was not in the mood to sleep.  We didn't know what was wrong at the time, but he was just crying continuously and seemed impossible to soothe.  I was rocking him in an attempt to get him to sleep and I looked at him and said, "I bet you Jericho is sleeping right now."  I do not know why I felt that way, but I had this idea in my head that things were quiet and peaceful next door while chaos ruled my house.  When my neighbors asked me how he was sleeping, I actually shared that story with them only to discover that Jericho wasn't sleeping either! He was up every 2 hours every single night, apparently.  At this, I realized  that our house was usually calmer during the night because Gordon Lee slept 4 hour stretches at a time at night! 


Something made me think that everybody else out there with a baby was having it so easy.  You see pictures of quiet, adorable little babies and then think something is wrong with yours! Granted, nobody really wants to share a picture of their upset child.  But it's weird how these thoughts that yours is the only one seem to take control.  The more I have shared the challenges we've faced with him with others, the more I've found out he's not "the only one." As I write, he is beginning to pitch a fit because he just filled up his pants. ;) I'll have to come back to this blog later.


3.) Not Me
Another thing I discover based on sharing my experiences with others is that, for some reason, it is very common to feel like you can't take care of your baby.  There have been so many times where I've felt I'm just "not fit" to take care of Gordon Lee.  Even if this is far from the truth, it appears to be a very common feeling.  My mom shared with me that she was afraid to give my sister a bath when she was born.  I'm not sure if it's the feeling that you think you should be able to know everything that will help the baby because you are his/her mother.  Or maybe it's just one of those emotional things that is a part of having a baby.  But, it seems that many people experience these feelings like you just can't do it sometimes.  I think I expected  him to calm down with me because he knew I was his mother (even if that is ridiculous).  But all babies will have periods when they just cry and it seems like nothing you do can make them stop.  


So, if there are new moms out there who feel like I did,  you are not alone.  It's likely that the person posting pictures of an adorable, contented baby is also feeling caught in a tornado of tears from time to time themselves.

What a Blessing

For a long time, I've been wanting to write this blog.  And I've had so much to say about it that I've taken a long time to get it started because I'm worried I'm going to end up rambling.  But, after today, I felt that this blog can't wait any longer.  I was blessed with a truly amazing doctor, and I really cannot even do justice to how incredible she is in a blog.  Dr. G (as I shall refer to her) is caring, kind, gentle, and very thorough.  I have to share all of the great things she has done for my baby and me.


First of all, she was my obstetrician throughout the pregnancy.  When my water broke and I went into the hospital in the wee hours of July 8th, she was not on duty.  Instead, I initially had to be seen by a younger, much more inexperienced doctor who immediately tried pushing drugs on me.  My doctor had all 4 of her children without drugs and was trying to encourage me that I could do it as well.  So, when the doctor on duty told me that he talked to my doctor and she wanted to start piton right away, I knew something was  up.  I told him that I didn't want to make any decisions until Dr. G arrived herself.  He was making me feel like they were going to make a choice for me and I knew my doctor wasn't going to do that.  Well, sure enough, when she arrived, things got a lot better and nobody was trying to push me to do anything.  I did go on piton because my contractions were irregular and despite hours of walking, stayed that way.  Still, nobody pushed the decision on me.


Once my doctor arrived, a sense of calm came with her.  She actually wouldn't allow any other doctor to check how far I was progressing as she didn't trust their judgment.   Since I was in labor for 24 hours, there was one time when she was unable to come up and check my progression.  Instead, she sent a midwife she trusted.  As it turned out, she was taking great lengths to ensure that I wasn't pushed into a c-section.  Apparently, there was a doctor who was tired of me being there for as long as I was and kept suggesting a c-section.  Looking out for my best interest, she said that if I progressed at all, we'd keep going.  Even though I only dilated 1 centimeter over a period of 4 or more hours, she still called it progression.  I was SO thankful that she was there for me and didn't allow some doctor to "hurry up" the process for his own convenience.  Granted, if it had gone too long, we may have had to take other measures.  But she was there for me all the way intervening for me.  What a blessing!


While in the hospital, she came and visited me quite a few times.  She offered breastfeeding support, told me that I was doing a great job, and said that little Gordon Lee looked great.  In fact, she set up his pediatric appointments with her.  And I was again so grateful.  Every other doctor he has seen has been nothing like her.  


Last week, I took him in to the doctor because he was having some problems.  He was constantly wanting to eat literally all the time for days on end.  And when not eating, he was crying like he'd had nothing.  His weight gain and output showed he was getting plenty.  So, concerned, I booked an appointment.  But they couldn't make one with Dr. G because they said she was booked.  So, they gave me another doctor who didn't even examine him well and said that she thought he had colic and acid reflux and gave us medicine for both.   Still, last week, I noticed he developed a rash and so I made another appointment and this had to be with yet another doctor.  She said the rash was normal from hormones, and that she thought he had colic.


I REALLY wanted to see Dr. G.  The other doctors just didn't make me feel at ease.  Plus, the second doctor talked to me like I knew nothing.  When I told her he wanted to eat all of the time, she responded with, "Babies aren't hungry every time they cry; you need to try other things." Well NO KIDDING! I think I know my baby's cues at this point and I do not resort to food immediately.  


So, today, I had my own follow-up visit with Dr. G and she graciously examined little Gordon Lee for me as well.  And it was just such a breath of fresh air! She told me that his rash was not a hormonal thing and that she could tell it was a result of a virus that had passed.  That would explain his crankiness and why he was nursing so much.  She said that the type of rash was unmistakable.  She was also the first doctor to really examine him carefully and listen to what I had to say--instead of assuming I was ignorant of everything.  


He actually got hungry during the visit, so I had to feed him.  She got to witness him spitting up and did not feel he had reflux.  She told me not to give him the medicine for it and that babies sometimes just have a number of things happening at once.  From her gentle manner to her calming voice, she always makes me feel so good after a visit.  


I wish there were more doctors like her out there!

Tricks

One night while my mother was here, she was holding Gordon Lee and excitedly called me over to see his new "trick." He had started turning his head from side to side.  He wouldn't do it for me at the time, but I did see it later.  I thought it was so cute that she called it a "trick."

So far, at 6 weeks old, Gordon Lee has picked up the following "tricks."

1.) Head Swivels

As I said before, turning his head from side to side.  He seems to be a big fan of this one.  I do not have much footage of this as it is hard to video tape him while he does it.  I have to hold him upright in my lap for him to do it.  But here is a photo from when he was doing it.  I promise I'm not choking him...just supporting his head/neck.

2.) Lifting his head

For short periods of time, he can pick his head up and turn his head to look around! I couldn't believe it when he just suddenly did it one morning.  All of my photos are blurry because he moves so quickly when he does it.  But here's the proof!

(In this one, he was actually picking his head up to see his daddy who was standing behind me talking to him!)

3.) Staring Contest

He will make eye contact and just stare now.  He started this one about a week or two ago when he would fixate on certain things.  But he is doing it a lot more.  He seems to prefer to stare at our faces :)

4.) Smiling and Cooing

He will smile for very fleeting moments, and he will coo as well.  Since he isn't much of a performer, I don't have much footage of this.  In this one video, there is a small coo.  I tried to repeat it to him to get him to do it again, but he just wouldn't.

Unless there is anything else that I just can't think of right now, those are the major developmental milestones he has hit so far.